Put The Kettle On

Not long ago, I asked Aidan what he thought might be a noticeable difference in daily life at his parents' house compared to here in the States. He thought for a second, and then told me that the door is always open -- you never knock, you just walk in.

"No one knocks? Everyone just walks in?" I questioned.

"It's like family. The door's always open, the kettle is always on for tea. Just like it should be!" He happily confirmed.

That's something I'm not used to. Not only am I not used to people walking in, I'm not even really used to people dropping by without calling first. It's just the way things are here for the most part. Other than kids dropping by looking for their friends, or Jehovah's Witnesses going door-to-door, no one really drops in.

My mom especially is uncomfortable with drop-in company because she likes to be prepared: The house should be tidied up, the dishes done, something like a cake or cookies to serve, and herself looking presentable. When I told her about this Irish way of the open door, she was surprised! She really thought about the ins and outs of everyone walking in. "What if you're not dressed? What if you're sick? What if you're in the bathroom?" she wondered.

When I asked Aidan about some of those instances, he just laughed and said, "Well they walk in anyway. Makes it more exciting around here!" I love his positive thinking and joyful soul! So funny.

Today I kind of woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I haven't been sleeping well lately and it's catching up with me. I decided after taking the kids to school that I would actually just go back to bed for a couple hours, which I NEVER do. Felt good to sleep for a bit. Once I got up, I had to run out and pick up my son early from school and back home again, barely awake. I was sitting talking to my son when I noticed out the window, a family friend walking across my porch. I immediately felt panic -- because I knew I was a mess and the table wasn't cleaned off of Jillian's drawings and toys. And, I was about out of coffee. My son snuck out the backdoor and off to his friend's house.  I went to the front to let my friend in, who I immediately began to apologize to for looking so awful and 'please excuse my house, it's messy today,' etc. She had her coffee in her hand and waved all that off, telling me she wasn't there to see my house and who cares what I look like! (Very sweet.) We sat and chatted for a little while and she then left.

Sometime while we were chatting, it occurred to me that I had better rethink the drop-in/walk-in company thing. Did my friend love me any less because I looked like I'd just rolled out of bed? No of course not. She never batted an eye at the toys on the table, either. And while I'm one who ALWAYS says that friends aren't there to see your house, just to see you, I did noticeably feel apprehensive when I discovered I was about to have unplanned company. I would have never thought about this issue had Aidan and I not only recently discussed it as a difference in culture! Fascinating.

I love the idea of a marriage of cultures. I have always been intrigued at couples who come from different backgrounds, different languages, different countries, and how their love and journey together creates something beautiful and unique. My grandparents are an example of that. He was from Germany and she was from Romania, both with broken English and a host of traditions they brought with them and virtually gifted to each other when they married. I was very young when they were alive and don't remember much, other than their heavy accents and the cooking, but I have heard different stories from my dad about when he was growing up. I think it's just wonderful that he is a essentially a product of both German and Romanian roots (which he happily labels as "Geranium.")

Of course when Aidan and I share a home, our door, too, will always be open, and  the kettle will always be on. I look forward to learning to embrace this idea. Of course, the kettle is another new thing for me. I'm not (yet) a tea drinker, other than the occasional late-night chamomile before sleep or a ginger tea for an upset stomach. The Irish are the tea-drinkers. Aidan's daily tea consumption is always a daily perk in our conversations. He told me they drink Barry's Tea. I've decided I need to find some and try it.

Aidan knows me and my love affair with coffee very well. But I am not a coffee snob, in that I will certainly drink tea (though sweet -- need it sweet!) I did find Barry's at Amazon, so I might order some soon. I'm wondering if I could entice Jillian into trying it. She likes sweet coffee and cappuccino now, maybe the tea will grow on her. She's started coffee before me --  I didn't start
drinking coffee until I was 16.

Regardless, -- coffee, tea, soda, water, sludge -- none
of it is half as enjoyable as when I get to share it with Aidan. I can't wait for that day!!