It's For Real

This past winter, being so long and blustery here in Michigan, made the distance and the time apart from Aidan seem even greater. Even after I bought and printed airline tickets for Jillian and I to fly to Ireland in June, it has been so hard to believe it's for real. Some days are harder than others for me, I don't know why that happens ... but on those days I find myself lost in daydreams even more ... staring at Aidan's photos and rereading our messages. And holding the airline tickets in my hand, just to let it sink in that YES we are going to be together again soon. But looking out the window at snow blowing and at the calendar that very clearly shows we're still stuck in Winter, well my mind has a hard time realizing that time shall pass and June will arrive. I think we would've cracked had we not had video chat all these months!! Everyday I wake up, itching to see Aidan again over video. It doesn't help to
say this a million times but it's just plain true -- I miss him like crazy.

Today was finally warm. Well, warm for Michigan in April -- 61 degrees. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, the breeze was refreshing. It finally felt like Spring. It was glorious to be outside, it felt like waking up after a long hibernation. And all day long, I carried the happy realization that, indeed -- June was right around the corner, and time was finally beginning to pass. This week is Spring Break for the kids, and although we aren't going anywhere this year, it is a turning point in the school year. After Spring Break, the rest of the school year always seems to fly by. It's only a few days after school is out that Jillian and I will begin our journey to be with Aidan.

With this burst of Spring, I have begun to have a running to-do list in my mind of all the things I need to get done and out of the way before we leave the country. Doctor's appointments, Spring cleaning, my college work, shopping, planning. If I keep my schedule full enough, the time should move a little faster. Now I can almost taste it.

Jillian seemingly has gotten past her bout of apprehension. She often talks about things we'll do together in Ireland. She has begun to ask about Aidan's sister, because she's heard me mention her on several occasions. She heard about their Aunt Ann's cats, and Jillian can't wait to see them. We decided we should get out and get walking now that the weather has warmed up, and get some exercise in preparation for the walking we'll be doing over there. Jillian just cracks me up. She even told me I will need to learn how to drive all over again because she saw a video on YouTube about driving on the "wrong side of the road" in Ireland. She happily finds a marker to 'x' off another completed day on the calendar, so we can see just how much closer we're getting to June.

Aidan and I both spend time thinking about being together in just the normal day to day activities... cooking or cleaning in the kitchen and being able to bump into each other ... stealing a kiss here or there ... Crashing on the couch in front of a movie ... Waking up and being able to just share the morning together instead of only over the phone. I think all this distance we've had to endure has probably made us more thankful for all of the little things most couples take for granted. It feels so good to hear him talking about coming home with me in August. I picture him here in my house all the time ... And I can't wait to experience it outside of my daydreams.

We dream of someday finding a cabin in the mountains somewhere in North Carolina near the Eastern side of Tennessee. It's funny -- it is a dream, yes. But with Aidan, these dreams feel like our future -- not just a pie-in-the-sky kind of thing. There are always hurdles and hoops on any journey, but with Aidan, I just know that we'll manage whatever comes our way and we will figure it out together. There is such comfort in knowing it's right. It's just ... RIGHT.  All that matters is that we are together in this journey, wherever it should take us. And after all this time apart, I'm ready for it to begin ... this very moment. I just can't wait to be back in Aidan's arms, no matter what soil it's on. Ireland, America, the moon ... <3