Connections

The other morning, I was snuggling in bed with my nine year old little girl. She looked up at me and said, "You really love Aidan, don't you Mom."

"Yes, Jillian. I do love Aidan. Very much," I replied.

"You wanna marry Aidan, don't you, Mom."

I paused, not because I didn't have an answer for her - but just to think about the way my daughter thinks about things. So often her perceptions are very black-and-white. She stared right back at me, waiting for my answer.

"Yes, honey, I do want to marry Aidan. Very much."

Then came the million dollar question (especially coming from a nine year old:) "How do you know he's the ONE?"

I couldn't help smiling when I heard that. I think some people live their entire lives not knowing how to answer that question.

How do I know that Aidan is THE ONE? There were a million reasons that came to mind, but I decided to sift through and condense them to fit into the attention span of a little girl.

"Well, we love each other very much. We can talk about anything and everything, we pray for each other and he already loves you and your brothers because you belong to me. And when we met, we both felt like we'd found the person we'd been searching for for a very, very long time. It was kind of like ... A fairytale."

I could see her digesting what I had said. She thought about it for a while and then asked, "Well, what if you get married and then find out you don't like each other anymore?"

My children are in a position that I've never been in. They witnessed their parents' divorce and watched their mom and dad move on to different journeys. Part of me felt sad for my daughter in this conversation, that she has had that experience in her young life. But another part of me knew that this was a life lesson for her. I have always prayed that I would be a good role model for my children, and while I'm far from perfect, I hope they will look back on their mom and see someone who overcame tremendous pain and disappointment, who stayed strong, stayed faithful, and who still believed in love and finding happily-ever-after. None of us can get through this life without experiencing pain and loss and sadness, but how we choose to recover and learn from those things is paramount. I know why my little girl asked that last question -- she saw what happened to her parents (from a child's perspective.) It was important that I gave her a solid answer.

"Jillian, no relationship is perfect, and no two people ever get along and agree 100% of the time. But there some VERY important things that make all the difference, and I believe Aidan and I understand those things. First, we both know that God comes first -- in our own lives, and in our relationship. Second, we choose to love each other no matter what happens, good, bad or ugly. And third, we talk about everything, we don't hold things in or hide from each other. Those things are VERY important for love to be lasting. Not all relationships have those things. But the ones that are made for forever, do," I answered.

Once again, my daughter took it all in, thinking about it. Then, she looked up at me and smiled and said, "Will you make waffles?" and that, is life with a nine year old.

Aidan and I began to dream about sharing our lives together very early on in our relationship. I know many people would see that and think we're a little crazy and premature, but I think -- no, I KNOW -- that when you know, you just know. And why NOT dream and look forward to tomorrow? Life is very short, and there is so much unrest and unhappiness in this world we live in. Finding this kind of love is truly a miracle. Finding your soulmate is a gift. I am so thankful for what we have and that we found each other.

Quite some time ago, since Aidan has been back in Ireland, he confided in me that he had been looking at rings. Yes I almost fell off the chair -- but out of excitement, not fear or shock. I'm not going to hide the fact that I had already been daydreaming about the idea. And true to form, when I am thinking about something, Aidan verbalizes it. We just have that kind of connection. (As I wrote months ago -- nine times out of ten, if I'm talking about Aidan or sitting and just thinking about him or us, the phone rings or I get a message from him.) Anyway, he asked me what kind of ring I prefer. I don't think he expected my answer. "Claddagh."

"Really? Not a traditional diamond??" he questioned.

"I'm in love with an Irishman. Of course I would love to have a traditional Irish ring," I shyly admitted.

The Claddagh is the ring which has two hands holding a crowned heart. It symbolizes friendship, love, and loyalty. One legend reveals that it dates back to the 17th century, to an Irishman by the name of Richard Joyce, who lived on the Galway coast in a tiny fishing town named Claddagh. On a ship bound for the West Indies, Joyce and his fellow shipmates were captured and taken to Algeria, where he was sold to a Moorish master. The master was a goldsmith who taught Joyce the trade. Eventually, Joyce was released and returned to Ireland, where he placed a special ring on the hand of his sweetheart, after which he crafted rings and began to sell them. Other legends date the Claddagh ring back to Celtic times. Still others believe it represents the Holy Trinity of the Christian faith. Regardless of its true origin, the Claddagh is uniquely Irish. The ring is worn four different ways, to signify a girl being single, or having a boyfriend -- the ring is placed on the right hand, the heart pointing out or in, respectively; As an engagement the ring is worn on the left ring finger, with the heart pointing out. Once married, the ring is turned, with the heart facing in.

I am so blessed to be in love with and loved by Aidan. I am thankful for the way he loves me,  and the way he so openly communicates that. I love that we are not confined by societal norms or restrictions of culture or heritage -- we just ARE. I love the way we are together. Our laughter, our little jokes, our commitment and dedication to each other, I am so overwhelmingly thankful for it all.

Speaking of culture and heritage, I am happily embracing Aidan's Irish blood. I love the idea of intertwining our roots and creating a life together. I have even begun learning about Irish wedding traditions (Yikes, Aidan will soon read this, I haven't told him that yet hehehe!) Just this past week, a priest from Co Meath, Fr Ray Kelly, became world famous after he sang song at a wedding he was officiating and the video landed on YouTube. It gave me goosebumps. His voice is so beautiful. I asked Aidan if we could perhaps attend a mass when I'm there, to hear Fr Ray sing. Aidan said, "Wouldn't it be class if we had him sing at our wedding?"

If that didn't open the floodgates of daydreams, I don't know what did!! I have watched that famous video at least 30 times, and all the while, imagined what it would be like to be the couple in that parish. (Long before this video hit the news,  my father and my brother both admitted separately that they are convinced that while I'm away in Ireland, Aidan and I will marry. I've told them both they're crazy. I'm just ...daydreaming. I think. Yes, I'm daydreaming....I.. think. ;-).)

All I know is that I cannot wait to be with Aidan in Ireland, after being apart so long. We are down to 9.5 weeks -- I'm crossing off days on the calendar. It can't come fast enough!!