Can You See Me Now?

Texting and messaging with Aidan is beyond enjoyable. I adore the way he flirts, sends little emoticons and sweet messages, and Lord knows, I melt every time he calls me a pet name. From the very beginning of our connection, he has made it vividly clear to me that I was on his mind often...Good morning texts and chatting off and on throughout the day ... While it's one thing to tell a girl you're thinking about her, it's another to show her. I immediately felt special to Aidan, and I hope --  actually I think I can be bold enough to say -- I make him feel the same. I could sense that it was very much heartfelt with him, just as it was for me.

I began to notice myself rereading his text messages and listening to his voicemails over and over. There was something decidedly different about this budding affection that we had -- it was as if we'd been looking, not for someone to be with, but literally for each other. I think, normally, if these kinds of thoughts had popped into my head so early on with someone, I'd be quick to try to talk myself down off the cliff, --because it WAS so new, we hadn't yet met in person, and just for the mere fact that it sounds quite insane to feel something for someone you barely know. But with Aidan ... it was just ... Natural. It felt refreshing to not have to analyze anything, to not wonder if he meant what he said or question whether I'd hear from him again. It felt ... for lack of a better word ... Right. It just felt RIGHT.

The view on a video chat screen

We had exchanged photos of each other periodically, and of course we had all of our photos on Facebook for each other to see ... but the real excitement came when we decided to use FaceTime to video chat. You must understand that we live a good 12 hours away from each other, not convenient for a random dinner date. So what's the next best thing? Video! OH my gosh, being able to see each other in real time and talk is some kind of heaven! While I love our phone conversations and of course all the messaging we do, I LIVE for our video chat time when we can stare at each other, joke, flirt, laugh, (and ooooh do we laugh! He is just such a joy and his sense of humor is delicious!) There is seriously something to be said for the ability to get to know someone via video chat. I can look into his eyes and see his lips as he talks and watch his face expressions ... I love to take it all in. We learn so much about each other this way. It's not only our own conversation, either. Aidan can hear and see me interact with my kids and with our dog ... we can share a cup of coffee ... I can hear him banter with his two housemates (which by the way, how fun to listen to two Irishman and an Englishman chat it up!) and see how he interacts with them. We show each other the view out our window and discuss the weather of Michigan and North Carolina. We talk about everything ... his work, my school, the kids ... our dreams, our families, our childhoods ... I met his housemates, he met my parents and children, all in video chat. The thing about getting to know someone this way is that the physical aspect does not get in the way. Not that physical chemistry isn't important - I don't mean that at all -- but so often, early in relationships, couples spend more time locked in kisses and physically intertwined than really spending time in deep conversation -- the kind that leads to building a strong foundation, a companionship, to build on. (But I assure you, what I wouldn't give to be locked into a few kisses ... )

It really wasn't long before we both knew that we were feeling something pretty strong for each other. We were also dying to meet. He talked of coming up here to Michigan, which excited me to no end. But we both had obligations with work and such that it was easier said than done. Another looming cloud was news he'd received from back home in Ireland, that his mammy was sick and in hospital. His siblings, all three still back home, warned him that depending on her condition, he may have to jump on a plane and go back home to be near her. It was a day-by-day thing.

At this point, it had been going on about three weeks and we were nearing Thanksgiving. Half of our messages and video chats were focused on our deep desire to be together in one room for once. I could no longer stifle the fact that, regardless of the fact that we had not met in person, I was falling in love with him. I remember the night I revealed that. I don't remember the last time I had been shaking so badly! Though I knew he had feelings for me, I wasn't 100% sure how he'd take hearing those three little words. Well, let's just say the sentiment was mutual.

So how much longer could we stand being apart? We seemed to be in each other's every thought, we shared everything about our days and our dreams at night, we knew each other's daily schedules and the comings and goings of our weeks. We were as much together as two people can be without being physically together.

We just needed to find a way to be together.....