Finding Ways to Pass the Time

After the confetti settled on the new year, Aidan was busy helping his mammy adjust to being home from such a long stay in the hospital, and it was not conceivable for him to return to the States so soon. We missed each other more and more but continued to find comfort in our Skype visits as often as we could, sharing Facebook messages and playing Words with Friends on our iPhones over a 3000 mile distance (he continues to kick my arse in that game, try as I might to beat him!) There's one thing I can promise you, with Aidan, anything and everything is fun. There hasn't been a day gone by that I don't feel loved beyond measure and full of smiles and joy with him in my life.

While all of that is wonderful and I'm thankful for it, it still doesn't fully take the place of being together in one room, and there are plenty of times when I just plain miss him like mad. Especially when the time difference is an issue -- my late evenings are when he's sound asleep, and in those moments, my heart melts for him and my mind wanders and I just want more of Aidan than I can get at the moment. Don't misunderstand, there's never a second of resentment over him being home in Ireland or hours of crying 'why is this happening to us.' It's just wistful daydreaming and missing the love of my life.

So what does a girl do?

Well, first I'll tell you what I can't do. I can't go to his American house and just be in his room and lay on his pillow when I miss him, because even that is 12 hours away. I can't jump on a flight to Dublin or Belfast (as much as I'm dying to do so) because it's just not feasible when I have kids in school and I'm in college. I also can't hang out with his close friends here in the States and commiserate over missing him (because all of America misses Aidan, yes, he IS that awesome) .. other than on Facebook, because his close friends are also 12 hours away.

What to do, what to do ... 

My sweet love, being Irish, is, well, IRISH. And if I really want more of Aidan (of course it's no secret that I want to spend my life getting to know more of Aidan) what better way (at least at the moment, when he's 3000 miles from me) than to embrace what it means to be Irish? I so admire the deep love he has for his heritage; it's a beautiful and meaningful part of who Aidan is and one more reason (of a million) that I love him so. And, as in any country, there is far more to being Irish than just having been born there. For the Irish, maybe more. While I cannot be there with him to experience all of it right now, there is plenty, I've discovered, that I can do here while I'm missing him.

While I knew some things about Ireland and Irish history, most of my knowledge was very textbook or music-related (Irish music stole my heart when I was a child, I always loved to dance to it and later play it on my dulcimer.) I just love to pick Aidan's brain ... Aidan is all too used to my many questions. I often will say, "I have a question for you..." to which he answers, "Oh, Love? Just one?" and laughs. Through Aidan, I'm learning about the Irish tea consumption, which far surpasses even China. I've learned that the kettle is always on and never dry. I've learned that the door is always open for family and friends to visit, and the meaning of the well-loved, always-used phrase, "What's the craic?" (Pronounced crack, meaning 'What's the news/gossip/fun?') I've also picked up on other slang that isn't necessarily as...Well, let's just say that one day I looked up Irish cuss words to make sure I could follow along. Not that Aidan cusses around me much at ALL, but the term bollocks was new to me (though my 17 year old son knew it right off!) Direct translation from Anglo-Saxon would be testicles .. But there are plenty of meanings for the word in everyday conversation, one of which is basically, rubbish or stupid. (I can only imagine my sweetheart cracking up when he reads THIS pastime of mine!! hehe) And, while I always heard it rains more in the UK than elsewhere, I now realize that in Ireland, IT RAINS. Cats and dogs. Buckets. Often. More often than often.

Those who know me know I am by far no stranger to language and culture outside of America. I was born with 'ants in my pants,' as Aidan would say, hungry to not only see the world but to experience it and become one with it (something he and I have very much in common, actually.) I have German and Romanian roots, and for as long as I can remember, I was hungry to discover everything I could pertaining to those roots, and certainly desperate to see where my family came from. While I haven't yet made it to Romania, I have spent time in Europe, more so in Germany and Austria than anywhere else. I learned very quickly many years ago that there are specific ways to learn about a culture: Language, food, music, film, history, and geography (and being in love with a native trumps all of them, I am finding out ;-) Lucky for me, it's the dead of winter and I'm missing my darling and I have hours to spend knee-deep in all-things-Irish (even though I'd rather be knee-deep in all-things-Aidan!)

And so, as the days turned into weeks and the weeks are now turning into months, I have watched countless hours of documentaries about Ireland's history, economy, the relationship with Britain, political and religious issues, and the dialects of Gaelic (there are three, Aidan taught me that, too!) Google has been very helpful. I found the top 10 Irish films and I've watched most of them, some multiple times. I have read translations of Irish slang and regional dialectal phrases. Listened to American pop songs sung in Gaelic (that language is a bugger to learn but just beautiful to listen to!) I've read recipes for Shepherd's Pie and soda bread. And, I've spent hours (too many to admit) reading about and searching for a pair of
Wellies.

Did I mention that Aidan's daddy keeps sheep? I LOVE sheep. I cannot wait to see the sheep. I know Aidan's family is going to think I'm completely off my rocker with how much I adore sheep. Regardless, it's a given that neither my pretty riding boots or my Uggs are appropriate sheep-visiting shoes. What a girl needs in rainy Ireland and with sheep are a good pair of Wellies -- Or, rubber rain boots, nicknamed Wellies because of their history, Wellington boots were named such because of Arthur Wellesley (1769-1862), the Duke of Wellington, who ordered his shoemaker to modify the then-popular Hessian 18th century boot to his design. Over time, well-to-do circles were sporting the special boots and they gained popularity. By the latter part of the 20th century, Wellingtons were synonymous with the Hunter brand of Scotland, though since then, many companies make Wellingtons, affectionately known as Wellies. (I wasn't exaggerating when I said I was a research-fanatic!) And oh did I scour the internet and eBay for a good deal on the often pricey wellies. And land some I did. Traditional (if there is such a thing) green (IRISH green!) Hunter Wellies, which I wore for a full day around here with tall, woolen knee socks, just to get used to the feel of them. What a hoot it's been.

I could go on for hours about all the interesting things I'm learning about the Irish and Ireland, but as I have said before, none of it takes the place of being with my sweet love. It does, though, pass the time, and I realize even more why the Irish hold such a deep-rooted love for their country. Not only is it exquisitely beautiful, but it is a heritage rich in history and tradition like none other. It is a culture easy to embrace and enjoy. It is a blessing to me that Aidan is willing to share such a heritage, and I am honored to be given the opportunity to experience it. But over and above all of that, it is Aidan's love I am most grateful for, and I cannot wait until the day comes when we can finally be in the same room together.

Tá grá agam duit, Aidan. 

Adventures in Ireland ... From Small Town America

During the next several days, the reality of the physical distance that lay between Aidan and I began to sink in. But aside from the time difference of five hours, we stayed in contact pretty much continually just as we did when he was in the States. I loved to hear about the time he was spending with his family and about bumping into old friends and neighbors as the month went on. I continued to pray for his mammy's recovery in the hospital.

I wanted to send flowers to her, and sending them internationally wasn't something I'd done before. I figured it couldn't be too hard with the power of the internet. True to form, I wanted it to be a surprise, though, and I had no idea which town or hospital Aidan's mammy was in. 

Enter Private Investigator Rochelle. Why I'm in school for psychology, I'll never know. I have spent more hours sleuthing online in the last several years than I can count! 

I could have just asked Aidan where his mother was but that was too easy. Soooo back to Facebook to scout. I can't remember which relative's page I linked to from Aidan's page but I managed to notice a post with a location name that got my attention. After some googling, Voila! I found it. I went back to Google and found a flower shop in the UK and proceeded to place an order. 

But of course, there had to be a little adventure in all of this, right? 

The next day (remember, the five hour time difference) I got an email asking for the ward that Aidan's mammy was in. ??? Here in Michigan we don't have wards anymore, we have floors, so I was at a loss again. Hmmm. Well, I had two options. Ask Aidan, (nope not gonna) or call the wee country of Ireland me'self. And that I did. The hospital receptionist was very helpful, and gave me the ward Aidan's mammy was in. And back to the flower shop online I went. 

After a bit of a miscommunication between online floral representatives and a misplaced order, I ended up searching for a florist that was located near the hospital and called them directly. I spoke a very helpful girl who took care of my order personally and offered that I call her directly if ever I need anything for Aidan's family in the future. It was a wonderful experience overall. 

It wasn't long after that phone call that I heard from Aidan that the surprise flowers had been delivered, and I was so thankful that his mammy could enjoy them. It was so good to hear his voice again.  

But I was missing Aidan something awful. It was Christmas time and I had had dreams about spending Christmas with Aidan here, and how romantic New Year's would be together. We still weren't sure when he'd be coming back to the States but we knew it wouldn't be until after the holidays. I just remained very thankful that we had the ability to Skype and stay in touch, and I tried to stay busy the rest of the time; after all, I had shopping and baking and visiting to do here. 

Aidan's mammy was able to go home from the hospital right before Christmas Eve. How wonderful for the family to be able to have her home for the holidays. I was so happy for them! Christmas morning came, and sure enough, my sweetheart rang the phone. It was the best gift to be able to chat that morning. Over the next week, we chatted and Skyped and shared holiday stories with each other from a distance, but I felt closer than ever before to Aidan. 

As I've mentioned before, there is just something precious about the way we are able to share so much with each other even though we aren't physically together. Of course I'd give anything to be able to be in the same room with Aidan, but until then, we continue to spend as much time together over video and messaging as we can. And the more time we spend, the deeper I fall in love with that man. His heart, his humor, his love, ... Such an amazing guy. 

I won't lie .. New Year's Eve was especially difficult for me. Going into a new year with this wonderful new love we had found was very symbolic, and I longed to share it with Aidan. Of course I fully understood and respected his need to be at home with his family --completely without hesitation or question; but my heart did ache for him and I was feeling a bit down that night, once the kids were off playing in their rooms and I found myself sitting alone, staring at the New York City party on TV with only the Christmas tree lights twinkling. 

The phone rang. I glanced at the clock, it was 6:59 pm. 

"Hey darlin, it's me. Here in Ireland we have 37 seconds until the New Year, and I wouldn't want to spend this time with anyone but you..." Aidan shared. 

Just when I thought I couldn't possibly love this man anymore ... ! 

Warm tears ran down my cheek. "Yes my love ... I want to spend this time with you!" 

We kissed over the phone as 2014 landed in Ireland, spoke softly about the journey ahead for us that we were so excited to share, and just sat there, as together as we could be, in the moment. My heart was bursting with thankfulness for this time with Aidan, and it truly made New Year's something far more special than I could have dreamed, in light of our circumstances. We promised each other that next year, we'd be together for the holidays. 

When midnight came around for me, Aidan surely was fast asleep and I didn't want to wake him by ringing the phone. I sent messages to his inbox as the clock struck 12am. I went to sleep that night with very happy and unique memories of New Year's Eve. 

Neither of us knew for sure how 2014 would play out, but we did know one thing for sure: The love we had for each other would sustain us regardless of the distance or circumstances, and we'd be together one way or another. 

There is not a happier girl in this big ole' world than this one! One day at a time, we'll get through this adventure and find a way to enjoy every moment of it :-)

Back to the Grind, or Not

It was difficult to get back into the swing of things once I was back home in Michigan. I knew it would take me a few days to recoup physically, I was still so exhausted from the trip. The first morning home, I opened my eyes from sleep and half expected Aidan to be next to me. My heart ached that he wasn't. I missed him dreadfully.

Aidan's messages mirrored what I was going through. He missed me too, and missed our togetherness. We spent many Skype calls talking about the future, planning to be together, chatting about when he'd come up to Michigan, and reminiscing about the time we spent together in Charlotte. I couldn't be more thankful for my decision to drive down there, (Thanks Renee!) because I knew in my heart that we just had to be together finally. While neither of us had any idea about the specifics of the future, how we will make it work, who will move where exactly and when, we did know without a shadow of a doubt that we wanted to be together no matter what. There was, and is, great comfort in that.

Each day was filled with the dance we had created for ourselves. Morning texts, midmorning Skype calls, Facebook flirts, more Skype calls, all the way until our last chat before we both went to bed. We spent our daily lives intertwined with 690 miles between us. We laughed until we cried, I shared my heartaches with him and he cheered me up. He found photos from his childhood and sent them to me over the net, and told me stories about his siblings and growing up in Ireland. Aidan joked with my boys over Skype and chatted with my daughter.

On the nights that Aidan worked, I went to bed before he got home, but I always told him to call me anyway. He is my favorite reason to lose sleep, and it will always be that way. Sometimes it was 2 or 3 in the morning, and I'd answer half asleep and hear his dreamy voice...It was heaven. But one night, the phone rang, and it wasn't what I'd expected when I answered, half asleep.

"Darlin. It's me."

Oh no. What happened??

If there is one thing I knew well already, it was Aidan's voice. And something wasn't right in it at all.

"Aidan ... what's wrong?" I asked, immediately wide awake.

"I just got a call from my brother, so I did, from back home. Mammy's not good, the hospital called him in the middle of the night. I don't know what's going on, but he says I need to come home. I have to go back home, Love." Aidan sounded shaken.

My heart sank. For him, for his family, and for us. This was something we both knew could happen, but we had prayed that it wouldn't. His poor mammy. I just couldn't imagine her going through so much, she was only in her sixties. I prayed that she would recover from whatever it was that had a hold on her.

Aidan told me that he'd be in touch as soon as he knew more. The poor guy had to finish work with all this on his mind. We hung up and I lay in the dark with hot tears running into my pillow. This was scary and so sad. My heart ached for my sweet Aidan.

Some hours later, he called again, and already had flight arrangements to leave that day. Aidan knew my heart so well, and promised me that he'd come back to me, and not to worry. He said he'd call as soon as he could. I worried about him. He was so tired, concerned, and alone. What I wouldn't have given to have gone with him, just to hold his hand, just to be there for him. But it wasn't possible at the moment. We would manage, one way or another, to be in touch.

I too was exhausted that day, I hadn't slept much since his call. I ran the morning with the kids on autopilot, every time my phone made a noise, I jumped, hoping it was Aidan. He called as soon as landed in NYC in between gates. From there, it would be a good 7 or 8 hours till he landed in Dublin. I was just a wreck by then. Worried, praying, confused as to why all this was happening, and wondering what each day from this point on would bring.

What I did know, was that I was overwhelmingly thankful for the time we had in Charlotte, and I thanked God over and over that that weekend had taken place, when it did. Because what we faced now was not knowing when we'd see each other again. What if I hadn't gone, and he'd gone back home to Ireland? What if we hadn't had that time to solidify what had developed between us? Thank God we'd been together. 

I was on pins and needles for the rest of that day, thinking about him flying home to Ireland. I worried about his safety and prayed for him. I worried about his mammy, and hoped to God she'd be ok. I was a pacing wreck.

To pass the time, I sifted through our photos and old texts and messages, rereading them for the 100th time. I listened to Aidan's voicemails on my phone, so much that I had every word memorized. I daydreamed about chats we had and smiled at the way we were together. And I stared at the clock, which didn't seem to be moving.

I went to Aidan's Facebook page and found his brother's, and when I went to his page, I noticed that their cousin had tagged him in a post that linked to a website that allowed you to follow a flight on sort of a GPS screen. I followed the link and discovered that I could actually see this tiny airplane halfway across the Atlantic that was tagged with Aidan's flight number.

Oh my Lord, I'm a lunatic. My poor sweetheart will surely think I've turned into a stalker if he hears this! Oh well. What's a girl to do when she's missing the love of her life? 

The time difference between here and there is five hours. I knew it would be awhile before I'd hear from him. All I could do was wait. And try not to worry or think to far ahead. (Neither easy for me to do.)

At some point my phone rang, and I immediately recognized it as an international call. I grabbed it as quick as possible. Sure enough, it was my sweet love, calling on his cousin's phone to tell me he'd landed. It was so good to hear his voice!!! I was so thankful that he was safe and in the arms of his family that I knew had missed him dreadfully. He hadn't been there in over a decade. Aidan told me he loved me, and promised to get in touch as soon as he could. We knew there was going to be an issue with his cell phone over there, it's a small fortune to make a phone call if it's even possible at all. I was just so grateful that he called.

Over the next day or two, it felt like culture shock. From the very first moment we connected on Twine, we had never gone more than nine hours without contact. And now, we were not only separated by 3000 miles, but an inability to freely connect as we had been doing for so long. I felt lost. As hard as I tried to stay busy with my life, my mind wandered back to him, and my heart ached to hear his voice again and see those gorgeous blue eyes and sheepish grin.

Thank God for Renee, and for my mom. Both of them listened to me worry, and both of them worked hard at keeping my head on straight. The two days we hadn't talked felt like a month. Those two days, my mind wandered like wildfire.

I did not doubt, for a split second, Aidan's love for me, nor did I question the seriousness of what we had together. What I DID worry about, however, was his family's opinion of me, and of our relationship, none of which I have ever fully disclosed to Aidan. I didn't know his family personally, all I knew is that they were warm and wonderful and very close. I knew how much Aidan's family meant to him, and rightfully so. That is one of the reasons I love him so much, the love for his family means everything to me. But what if ... What if they don't approve? I'm older than him, by only a few years, but still. I have children. His family is Catholic. I wasn't raised Catholic. Oh dear God, Irish Catholic. What if ... And so it went. My mind was on fire. And it was ridiculously obsessive and sent electric shocks of anxiety through my veins. And the phone didn't ring.

Renee was a Godsend -- quite literally -- to me. I ranted to her via private message on Facebook, and she listened until I stopped. Then she'd say, "Ok, do you hear yourself? I get your worry, fully. I'd be worried too. BUT. So far you have nothing to worry about. That man loves you like no one has. He hasn't been home in ages, he's with his family and worried about his mom. You need to just breathe and take a step back."

It was the exact slap upside the head that this girl needed, and it didn't come fast enough. Renee's logic was what I needed to hear to set me straight. At that point I'd almost been ready to slap myself. That is one thing I dislike about my passionate brain: It's tendency to take limitless, Lifetime-movie-worthy vacations without consulting reality, and without notice.

I'm breathing in and out. 

The next afternoon, I was sitting in the chiropractic office waiting for my son, with my daughter. To pass the time, I was surfing on Facebook, catching up on my friends' lives, when all of a sudden, a message popped up. It was Aidan! Woohoo! He was on (I think) his brother's Facebook on his phone. First we messaged back and forth, which was like HEAVEN. Then, the next thing I knew, he was calling me. It was all I had to stifle the sobs. My gosh, I had tears welling up in my eyes, enough to sail away on. His voice made my heart leap out of my chest. He filled me in on how it was to see his family again, and then all of a sudden he said, "I need to see you. I'm going to try to use FaceTime."

!!!!!

Sure enough, my phone rang again and this time it was video. I told my daughter to stay put, and I ran out to the vestibule so my conversation wouldn't disturb the other patients in the office. Talk about a sight for sore eyes!!! There he was, right before me, that precious man of mine. And then, there was his brother, Declan! Aidan introduced us, and Declan took over, chatting happily with me. I got to meet Clare, his wife, and Fionn, well, I tried to meet their little guy but he was racing through the house in a hurry like all toddlers tend to do. I cannot put into words what a gift that video call was.

Between my conversation with Aidan and the chat with his brother, I had enough to immediately ditch the worries that had been swimming around in my head. Forgive me, Lord, for such a lack of faith!  I felt so silly for all of it. But it is what it is...This whole situation we had in our laps was completely new for us, and I had to figure out where this dance was taking us, and just hold on for the ride.

And what a dance it became! From that point on, every time Aidan found wifi, he messaged or Skyped. I love this man more than words can say. His dedication to me and to us, in the middle of such a whirlwind of being back home in Ireland with his family and his poor sick mammy, is mind blowing and amazing and just typing these words at this very second, I am holding back tears. Aidan has a heart like none other, and I am blessed to have him in my life.

Wherever this dance of ours shall go, so shall I follow. I love you, Aidan. 

Tell Me It's Not Monday

When Monday morning arrived, I was greeted with two extremes: Aidan, who I love deeply, and a migraine, which I loathe. I had originally planned on leaving very early, because it's easier to drive the bulk of 12 hours in daylight. But as the weekend had passed by so quickly, I'd decided to stay until Aidan had to go to work, around lunchtime. Now that  I was facing a migraine, I didn't know what to do at all.

My sweetheart brought me coffee again, which I needed desperately. I don't know if the migraine was from the lack of sleep and all the excitement, or the stress and sadness of having to leave so soon after I arrived. I lay in bed fairly listlessly with a heat pack on my head, and quietly chatted with Aidan. The closeness was soothing to me, as was his voice and his hand as he laid it on my head. I felt so bad that I was out of it during our last few hours together, but at least we were together, that was all that truly mattered.

The more I stressed over having the migraine, whether to attempt driving with a migraine, and the fact that the kids were home in Michigan expecting me home that day, the worse the pain got. I tried to stop thinking too far ahead and just on the moment, praying the pain would subside. Eventually the meds and coffee and prayer helped, and the pain did lighten enough for me to get ready to go. Aidan offered that I just stay in bed and leave Tuesday, but as much as I was dying to do that, I knew I had responsibilities at home. Eventually it was inevitable and we headed out with my stuff to the van.

I said goodbye to Jim in the driveway, and got a good ole' Irish hug. It was awesome to have spent time with Aidan's close friends. I knew I'd miss them as well. I began to get a pain in my chest as I knew the final little while before Aidan and I parted had arrived -- the kind of pain that feels like your heart is crying. Aidan and I stopped at BoJangle's for lunch on the way to his work. It was hard to swallow. I willed myself to keep it together and enjoy every last second of this time together. We called Martin on the phone so I could say goodbye to him as well, and I thanked him for welcoming me and letting me stay at "the frat house." Such great friends Aidan has.

We pulled up in the lot outside the pub and a heavy silence filled the space between us. Aidan told me not to cry, and I did well holding it in. Last kisses and hugs were beautiful and heart wrenching at the same time. We knew full well how much we were going to miss each other. Distance is not for the weak-hearted, that is for sure. The other thing we knew is that we were going to be together again, and this parting was only temporary. That was comforting and exciting. And so, it was time....He went into work, and I hit the road. Breathe in, breathe out. 

Moments after I pulled away, we were both sending texts to each other that said the same thing .. "I miss you already!" My heart just ached. My head still hurt, and I wanted to rewind the weekend and experience it all over again.

What a long drive I had ahead of me. Going to North Carolina to see Aidan was a breeze -- I couldn't get there fast enough. But heading home was hard, not that I hadn't missed the kids and my family -- I just hadn't had enough time with Aidan. But I was overjoyed with the love we'd found for each other and giddy thinking about what was ahead of us. Happy thoughts got me through the drive; happy thoughts, and loads of messages and calls from my sweet Aidan.

At one point during the drive, somewhere in Eastern Ohio, I'd pulled off to get gas and walked into McDonald's to grab a coffee. While I waited in line, I noticed the song playing on the radio -- Oh My Sweet Carolina. Once again my heart was just aching. I couldn't believe of all the songs in the world, THAT would be playing in a McDonald's in Eastern Ohio at exactly the moment I was standing there. About then, a little boy came running in the door and zipped right past me. Following a bit behind was his mother, who called out, "Aidan! Aidan come here right now .. slow down Aidan!"

SERIOUSLY???

There are times like this when no other words fit the experience except for these: It's just a God thing. All I could do was smile. I realized that my life was permanently changed ... and wherever this new journey took me, I was by far not alone. Aidan, my love, a little bit of Carolina, and a whole lot of God. And it felt right and it felt good, and regardless of the distance, my heart was happy.

The rest of the drive was monotonous and after a while I just wanted my bed and sleep. Aidan stayed in touch with me the entire time, which was awesome. I also had a long conversation with Autumn, and it was fun to get her take on Aidan and I. She said we were cute together and that we just seemed to "fit each other." So sweet ... I felt exactly the same way.

I somehow managed to get home in less time than it took me to get to Charlotte. I let Aidan know I'd made it safely, and we were missing each other something awful. I couldn't wait to get to bed and close my eyes and just dream about everything that had just happened. At least I could meet Aidan in my dreams. 

Just Another Weekend in Paradise

When I awoke on Sunday morning, I was immediately filled with a tidal wave of emotions. I still felt as if I were dreaming, being able to reach out and touch my sweet Aidan still blew my mind. I was just beginning to feel a bit revived after having been so dreadfully tired ... And yet, it hit me, it was already Sunday. Time was flying by and I just wanted it to slow down. I was so thankful for this time we had together -- we both were -- neither of us wanted it to end.

Once again, I put it out of my mind that the weekend was nearly over, and I focused on enjoying every second we had together. Aidan disappeared to the kitchen and returned with a steamy hot cup of coffee, sweetened to perfection, just for me.

This man must truly love me. He already knows exactly how I take my coffee ... and he brings it to me first thing in the morning ... What a sweet hearted man, this one I love to bits. Can I keep him?? 

We lounged together, sipping coffee and chatting about anything and everything. Aidan had to work that day, and I had more homework to do. I also had planned to visit my niece and her little family only 30 minutes from Charlotte. At some point we got ready to go and hit the road.

It's funny, this may not seem like anything special, but to me, it felt amazing. I dropped Aidan at work, kissed him goodbye, and went shopping and on with my day, knowing we would be together later that night. It was a glimpse of just... daily life, being 'us.' Living in two different states, spending a day like this isn't possible all that often, and I was thankful to experience it. Come to think of it, I find that I am continually in a state of thankfulness for everything Aidan and I share. I have never known what it was like to feel that way in a relationship. What we have between us truly cannot be compared to anything else.

Instead of going back to the house, I decided to visit Charlotte's Ikea store. I have a not-so-secret love affair with Ikea, and I was happy to have some time to wander around and just reflect on the last couple of days. I also had time to make a couple of phone calls and check in with my family back home. I'm sure my mom thought I was high as a kite once I called her, I sounded like a giddy schoolgirl...it was just fun to share a little about our first weekend together.

As I wandered around Ikea, I received sweet messages on my phone from Aidan. We already missed each other, even though it had only been an hour or two apart. Oh what are we going to do when I have to go back to Michigan..? My mind tried to go there, but I willed it to stop.

After a couple of hours, I headed back to Aidan's house. Even that felt exciting. It was all just so ... normal. I know how that sounds, but it was surreal. Being able to head back to his room and crash, kick back, do my homework, toss some laundry, watch TV ... Daydream. And miss him like mad all over again. I swear, every time I found myself drifting off into deep thought about him or about us, it was if he sensed it, because my phone would go off and there would be a sweet message from him again. This connection we have is so strong, I am always in awe of it.

I was just finishing up my work and planning to head to my niece's when Aidan called and told me he was able to get out early and go with me. How fun!! I was going to be able to introduce him to a part of my family. That made me very happy!

Now the trick was remembering how to find the pub in downtown Charlotte on my own ... Thank goodness for Siri on my iPhone! It was dark by the time I was going to pick him up. I found the parking lot and pulled in and let him know via text that I had arrived. I had butterflies waiting for him. He came out and jumped in the van ... My gosh, how I loved this man.

Poor Aidan had to put up with my driving. I'm normally a good driver, but I had no idea where I was going, and I was paying more attention to our conversation than to directions on the highway. What a hoot! Can I just say how much I loathe exits that veer off to the left instead of the right? Finally the surroundings began to seem familiar. I had been there in Denver to visit my niece last Spring. It blew my mind how close she lived to Aidan! What a small world.

It was heaven to see them all again. Her little babies were already growing like weeds! I hadn't seen Lizzie since she was not much more than a newborn, and here she was rolling around already and smiling from ear to ear (or lug to lug, as the Irishman says!) And Elijah was running all over the place, bright eyed and busy. I missed them all so much. We had a late dinner and sat around just chatting. I loved to see my niece, Autumn and her hubby, Brian, with Aidan -- it felt so good to have my family get to know him, too. And what a conversation! Aidan, I swear, has a photographic memory. We were talking about the test for citizenship in the U.S. and the dozens of history questions. We three Americans struggled to get the right answers, yet Aidan rattled them off without a drop of sweat! Hilarious.

It was getting late, so we said our goodbyes and headed back to Charlotte. This was my last night there...already. Where had the time gone??? I wasn't ready for it to end yet.

The weekend was almost over, but our time together was far from ending. We were just beginning .... <3

Togetherness

Aidan and I spent the morning together, sipping coffee and enjoying every minute of just being together. After awhile, we jumped into Jim's Durango and headed into town to stop at the pub where Aidan works. I was excited to see it in person, as I'd only caught glimpses of it over Skype.

On the way downtown, I was able to sit back and enjoy the sights of Charlotte. I'd been around the city on my way to my niece's and sister's but never actually in it. So far I loved what I was seeing...We passed beautiful churches, unique architecture and in the distance, the skyline. I was sitting in the backseat, and Aidan was in front with Jim. I got tingles when Aidan reached back to find my hand to hold. I had learned that Aidan was very loving through our messages, calls, and Skype...But now I was experiencing it on a whole different level.

It's hard to put into words what it's like to fall in love with someone before meeting them in person, I suppose because it's so different than the "norm." When people meet the conventional way, there is a gradual growing affection as they're getting to know each other better, and holding hands, sitting close, lingering hugs, are all a part of that process. With us, we spent hours sharing dreams, talking about our lives, exchanging stories from our pasts, and falling into each other's eyes ... all without being able to share physical touch. Falling in love before ever being close is mind blowing. Every kiss speaks from the soul. There is so much electricity in each touch. It's like ... Waiting in line for what seems like an eternity to ride the most exhilarating roller coaster... The anticipation wells up inside of you.... You close your eyes, trying with everything that you are to imagine what it will feel like to finally be on the ride.... But it's just too far beyond the realm of imagination. All you can do is wait, until it's finally your turn to experience the magic. And it's electrifying ... Far greater than you ever imagined.

The pub where Aidan works is quaint and charming, what I would expect an Irish pub to be like. I was also able to meet the owner, which was a pleasant surprise. It was awesome to be able to picture where Aidan worked.

Maria's gorgeous dog, Guinness

After that, we headed over to Jim's girlfriend Maria's house for Thanksgiving leftovers for lunch -- but Jim didn't tell her I was coming. All she knew is that he and Aidan were bringing a surprise. When we pulled up, Maria was in the yard with her gorgeous dog, Guinness. Jim and Aidan hopped out of the car, and around I came, following. The look on her face was priceless, when Aidan introduced us. He started to explain that I had completely surprised him by driving all the way to Charlotte from Michigan. She handed Aidan the dog, and welcomed me with the warmest hug! Maria was so sweet, and told me how thankful she was that I had arrived. I immediately felt at home with her as well. Such a blessing, not only Aidan, but his friends were so sweet to me. I remain extremely thankful for such a gift.

Maria's house was so inviting and I adored her decor! It was very apparent that she and I had loads in common. I walked around admiring her beautiful antiques, the warm wood, the unique collection of prints on the mantel. And every time I turned around, Aidan was there and my heart leaped. Stolen kisses and flirty glances, it was all delicious and felt so good. Sharing stories with Jim and Maria, this immediate couples time was heavenly. We enjoyed tasty leftovers and wonderful conversation.

Unfortunately, I had homework looming over my head, so we headed back to the guys' house with plans to return later. I was still so very tired after being awake for so many hours .... we decided to nap for awhile. I don't even remember how long I slept but it felt good to close my eyes for awhile. I ended up taking my homework back to Maria's and worked on it there. After, Aidan and I cuddled on the sofa, staring into the fire that he'd built when Jim and Maria were out picking up pizza and a movie. Aidan shared how much he'd been thinking of what our life together would look like, our house, our fireplace, how wonderful it would feel to have this closeness we were sharing, everyday. I loved how he dreamed about us, and how freely and openly he shared with me what was on his mind and in his heart.

The pizza was amazing, and we were watching Lord of the Rings. As the night went on, my eyes became so heavy. I had Aidan's strong arms around me, and I'm afraid to know how many times I started to drift off, feeling so safe and so cozy. I will always be embarrassed to think of how dopey I became that night, I fought so hard to keep it together and stay awake, but I just ran out of energy. Finally Aidan asked if I was tired and we headed back to their house. What a wonderful day we'd had!! Great food, wonderful company, and togetherness.

This is what real happiness feels like ... Loving and being loved ... laughing and sharing ... being close ... I don't ever want this to end ... .

Pinch Me .. Am I Dreaming?

After we stood there in awe of finally being close to each other, Aidan took my hand and asked me to come in. We walked through the back door and crept quietly into the house, as the other guys were still sleeping. He led me down a hall and to his room, and closed the door behind us.

I can't believe I'm in Aidan's room. I must be dreaming! 

I glanced around, and it was surreal. I felt like I had magically landed on the other side of the Skype screen that I'd been staring at for the past three weeks. Aidan took my coat and hung it up in his closet and asked me sit down. I know it will sound completely ridiculous, but I immediately felt at home.

Aidan leaned back on the bed and told me to lay back and relax. He kept staring at me. "I can't believe you drove all the way here from Michigan!" he exclaimed. I laid back against the pillows, and stared right back. It felt so good to stretch out ... my body felt like it was still moving after being in the van on the road for so many hours.

"I couldn't wait any longer, Aidan! We had to be together in one room..." I admitted. We laid there, just soaking all of this in. He put his arms around me and hugged me tight. It felt so good. I could feel his heart beating through his shirt. We both kept gazing at each other, neither of us truly believing this was happening!

After a few minutes, Aidan said he'd be right back, and left the room, closing the door behind him. I continue to lay there, just looking around, staring at his pillow, taking it all in. A few minutes later, he returned, and told me he couldn't help himself, he just had to wake up the guys and tell them who surprised him this morning....He was like a little boy on Christmas morning. The guys were just as shocked, I think.

As much as I was overwhelmingly excited to finally be with Aidan, I was also overwhelmingly exhausted and fading fast. I felt so bad, but I could barely keep my eyes open. Aidan told me to close my eyes and rest for awhile. His voice was so soothing to me. We snuggled up and within seconds I fell asleep...I don't think he was far behind.

When I think back to that first morning together, I am reminded of what a beautiful thing we found in each other...We were immediately comfortable together, as if we'd known each other for much longer. I knew we had fallen for each other over Skype, and I got in the van in Michigan to head down to Charlotte, never worrying about the "what if we don't like each other in person" thing ... And being with Aidan in person, feeling like I'd just found my home in his arms, confirmed the love we had for one another. I don't think it was any coincidence that Renee and I met up for breakfast that day, for her to tell me to get my behind in the van and go straight to Charlotte. And I don't think Aidan and I just randomly bumped into each other on the Twine app three weeks prior. When something is meant to be, everything in the universe readjusts for it to happen. Aidan says "...it was in the stars, so it was!" Both Aidan and I prayed for happiness and love in our lives ... and God listens.

When I woke up, I wasn't sure where I was. I thought I had dreamed that I was in Aidan's room, but as soon as I came to, and opened my eyes, there he was, those beautiful blue eyes looking at me. His smile was warm and loving, and his touch was so gentle. He said, "We already make music together, love."

Oh dear God in heaven, I snore. 

I had been so stupidly tired that it never entered my mind!! I said, "Oh noooo, was I snoring??"

"As was I, love! Like I said, music together!" Aidan answered.

This man has the most loving, positive spirit. I have heard myself say it a thousand times, he is just a joy to be with! And he always has me laughing!

We spent another few minutes enjoying the realization that neither of us had dreamed me driving down from Michigan, and then Aidan offered COFFEE.

If there is one thing about me, it's that mornings mean coffee. (Well, afternoons mean coffee, and sometimes evenings mean coffee. But certainly mornings mean coffee!) And we had dreamed about sharing morning coffee together.

We headed to the kitchen, where I was immediately speechless, as it was decorated in a retro theme complete with a Hoosier cupboard, chrome table and chairs and unique tins and treasures from England lined the shelves around the top of the room. Not what I'd expected from a bachelor pad! Very charming. Aidan got the coffee going, and in came Martin, (from England) who owns (and decorates) the house. He was very friendly and welcoming to me, which I was thankful for. After all, I just crashed his house unexpected! (hehehe. These poor guys.)

Aidan and I sat staring at each other, sipping coffee and holding hands. Again, I felt like this was a dream! I couldn't stop staring at him. When he'd get up to get more coffee, my eyes followed his every move, and in my mind, I'd hear myself ... That's my true love right there.  And my face would erupt in a huge smile again. I felt so ...whole ... being with him. I felt like I had been missing him, even though we hadn't known each other.

A few minutes later, the other happy Irishman waltzed into the kitchen. I stood up to shake Jim's hand but instead I got a big welcoming hug! We chatted for a bit about my surprise visit. It made me so happy that Aidan's friends were so warm and welcoming to me.

After a bit, Aidan called his sister back home in Ireland, Fionnuala. For the first time, I was able to meet her on speaker phone while Aidan told her how I just showed up playing postman that morning. I secretly hoped his family wouldn't think I was completely out of my gourd!

I knew immediately that I wasn't going to want that weekend to end. I only had a couple of days before I would have to head back to Michigan, but I put it out of my mind and focused on the miracle of being with Aidan in the same room, finally. Pure heaven!!

I am so thankful for every single second right now....The ability to reach out and touch his hand...Feeling his arm around my waist as we walk .... Looking up at him and catching his stare...Hugs that turn into kisses .... All of the things most couples take for granted, seemed like a million little gifts to me. This love that we found was the greatest gift. <3

Finally together!

Postman Calling

I'm going to go meet Aidan. I'm driving to North Carolina. I'M GOING TO SEE AIDAN. The chant recited over and over in my mind as I packed clothes and grabbed my school books and laptop. I wanted to pinch myself. I couldn't believe this was really happening! And I had to hold it in and pretend nothing was going on whenever he called or Skyped me. I wanted to pull off the surprise so bad. "Hold it together, girl," I told myself. On top of that, my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. And don't forget the pumpkin bread! I think that was the last thing I put in the van.

Once the van was packed, I drove over to say goodbye to my parents. I'm sure they thought I'd lost all sanity, but I didn't care. (Truthfully, they should be used to me by now after this many years of me doing unexpected and crazy things!) I filled up with gas, grabbed a coffee (one of many to come) and officially got on the highway around 6:30pm. I'd already been awake since 4:30am, and here I was about to drive 12 hours. Even I'D admit that was a little crazy, but some things in life, 'ya just gotta do!' I turned the music way up, put the pedal to the metal, and headed for Charlotte, NC. I should have been exhausted, but I was full of energy and excitement. This was really happening!

Somewhere in Ohio on the turnpike, my phone went off: It was Aidan on Skype! Think fast. Think fast! Where are you going? What are you going to tell him?? He can't know you're headed to see him!  I turned on the map light in the van and answered the call (yes, driving 70+ mph down the Ohio turnpike, I had to Skype with my Irish sweetheart.)

"Hi Darlin!" I smiled. "How are ya?"

"Oh look who's in the car again!" he laughed. "Where are ya headed now so late??"

"Oh well you know it's Black Friday, and you know how crazy my mom and I are?! Mom is at Kohl's and they are open till midnight, and we often meet up and wander around the store late until they close...Just Christmas shopping, you know..." I didn't want to lie. My mom really WAS at Kohl's -- I just didn't happen to be going there this very second....hehehe.

We chatted for a few minutes, and I just prayed that he wouldn't see an Ohio highway sign out of my van window over video chat!! I didn't want the surprise ruined!! Normally I talk with Aidan as long as possible, but it wasn't the safest thing to be Skyping while driving, and I really didn't want him to see that I wasn't in Michigan, so I told him I was close to the store and had to run. Lucky for me, Aidan was tired that night and was headed to bed earlier than normal, so we said our goodnights and hung up. "Sleep well, Aidan, I'll see you in the morning!" I said out loud to myself after I hung up the phone. I was happy he was in bed for the night. That gave me free time to drive and come up with a master plan to surprise him!

Every time I hit a new state, I was closer to being in seventh heaven. Ohio. West Virginia. Virginia! OH I was getting closer and closer. My mind was racing. It was in the middle of the night by then and I was feeling tired, but still excited. I stopped and got more coffee, got some fresh air, and jumped right back on the road. I was checking in with my worried mom off and on through the night, just so she knew where I was and that I was ok. My stomach was chock full of butterflies every time I reminded myself that I was almost to North Carolina.

You know, it never even entered my mind that we wouldn't hit it right off. Usually with online dating, you talk and email and text and finally plan to meet, and it's this looming big risk that you just won't click with the person. Here I was, driving 12 hours to Charlotte, fully intending on crashing at Aidan's place (again -- I hear you asking, 'Who does that?? Is she crazy??') and never batting an eye. You must understand, I was driving to be with the man I fell in love with. It was just plain and simply this -- we were past the polite handshake, light hug, 'nice to meet you' phase. We had fallen for each other already, and we couldn't wait to be together. Yes, I had family only 30 minutes from Aidan's house, "just in case,"  but ironically they weren't even in town - they were visiting my sister three hours away for the whole Thanksgiving weekend. The times I had considered going down to NC, I kind of pictured myself staying with my niece in the beginning ... But that was before Aidan and I had gotten so attached to each other. In this moment, driving at 5 something in the morning, awake for 24 hours already, nothing mattered to me, nothing worried me, I had no apprehension whatsoever, except that I make it to Aidan's doorstep.

And then what? How are you going to surprise him?? 

I chewed on that question for awhile. Maybe I'd just walk up to the front door and ring the bell, and whichever of the guys came to the door, I'd be surprising them too ... I'd just nonchalantly ask to see Aidan. Or maybe, I'd whisper for them to point me to his room and I'd just sneak inside and stare at him till he woke up. What to do...what to do.

I got off an exit fairly close to where Aidan lived and pulled into a McDonald's. I went in to the restroom to freshen up. Staring at myself in the mirror, I worried about how tired I looked. But as soon as that concern popped into my mind, I dismissed it. I knew in my heart that it wouldn't matter to him WHAT I looked like, I knew he'd be happy to see me. That sounds presumptuous, I don't mean it to -- I'm just trying to convey the type of connection we already had developed. I was shaking. I didn't really feel nervous, I think I was shaking from being so tired, all the caffeine, and driving in the van so long. I was just .... so .... tired. And so excited!! I'm going to see Aidan!

I got back in the van and followed Siri's directions on my iPhone to Aidan's subdivision. The sun wasn't quite coming up yet and there weren't many cars about. I drove ever so slowly down the street trying to see addresses. Finally I found the house, on a corner, and sort of built into a hill...the driveway was lower than the front yard where the front door was. I knew for sure it was the right house because his housemate Jim had just bought a Durango, and I saw it parked in the driveway. OH I can't believe I'm here!!! Holy cow!!!

I pulled into the driveway and parked the van. I sat there. Told myself to breathe in and breathe out. My plan to go to the front door now didn't seem to make much sense, I wasn't even sure by the looks of the house that the guys were using the front door. I was facing the garage, but there wasn't a door there, either. The yard was fenced, and the back door was through a gate and I couldn't see it from where I sat in the van.

Drat!! What am I going to do??

I eyed the pumpkin bread on the seat next to me. I had told Aidan I was going to mail it to him. Well, guess what? I was about to become the mailman. I glanced at the clock on the radio ... 6:50am. I had my phone in my hand. I'd never called Aidan and woken him before. This should be an experience....

It's ringing. And ringing.

I hear him pick up the phone. "....Hello?" Poor guy sounded completely out of it. He had been sound asleep!

"Good morning honey! It's Rochelle!"

"Hi .. Are you ok?"

"Yes! Hey listen, sorry to wake you up, but the mailman is in your driveway trying to deliver the pumpkin bread that I made for you, and he doesn't know which door to go to."

Silence. Then, "The what?" he stammered.

"The mailman? In your driveway, what door should he go to, to deliver the bread?" I repeated.

Silence. I heard him breathing, and then the phone hung up! I think in that moment, he thought he was dreaming. I called him again.

"Hello?"

"Aidan, love, it's Rochelle! Honey, the .... mailman .... is .... in ... your .... driveway..." I was talking very slowly and clearly, hoping he was waking up enough to talk.

"The postman is here... now?? What time is it?? I don't see him in the driveway ...Our postman doesn't come this early...!" OH this poor man. I was so mean! I could tell he must be looking out a window.

"Aidan."

"Yes love."

"I AM IN YOUR DRIVEWAY. I HAVE PUMPKIN BREAD. WHAT DOOR SHOULD I GO TO?"

I distinctly heard him wake up. (hehehe.) "YOU'RE HERE?? YOU? YOU DROVE HERE FROM MICHIGAN?!!!"

"Yes love. I'm here, sitting in my blue van, in your driveway. What door should I go to?"

"Ummm, do you see the gate? Go to the gate, wait there, I'll come and get you. Don't open it, the dogs might get out. I'll be there in a second!!"

Oh my gosh. This is it. This is the moment we've been dying for!

I put on my jacket, grabbed my keys, purse, and of course the bread, and got out of the van. I walked to the gate. The gate was on the taller side, and met up with the corner of the house, so it was nearly impossible to catch a glimpse of the back door. I waited. I glanced around, the dogs were barking at me. I didn't hear anything else. I looked behind me... wondered if Aidan would come from the front of the house and take me off guard. OH I was shaking. I had goosebumps on my goosebumps.

I waited, for what seemed like a half hour, but I'm certain it wasn't even five minutes. I figured my darling had to find some clothes.

I heard something.... a door. I tried so hard to peek over the top of the gate and around the corner of the house .. ...I wanted to catch a glimpse of Aidan so badly!! I was shaking. And then .... right before my eyes ....He appeared, walking toward the gate and staring right at ME. It is Aidan! In the flesh!!!   This gorgeous man was like no one I had ever laid eyes on.  I took in his every move... the way he walked, the way his hair looked...His blue eyes .... The way he wore his jeans ... He was simply delicious!!! Now in that moment, when we were finally face to face, I didn't know if I'd laugh, cry, freeze, ....And what would he do? Would he be shy? Or not?

There we were, only a gate between us. I think I heard him say something about being surprised that I was there, but my heartbeat was pounding in my ears so loud that I didn't hear anything clearly. He fiddled with the gate latch and for a second, it didn't want to open. I couldn't help it, I had to say something ...

"Hi! I found out postage for bread was outrageous, so I decided to drive it down to you!"

The gate opened and closed, and there before me, was the man that I loved. And that was the exact thought in my mind: "So this is the man that I love!" He looked down at me, I looked up at him, I'm certain the earth stopped rotating in that moment. I once again lost the feeling under my feet. I was dizzy from my pounding heart. We fell into a huge embrace. Aidan pulled back to look at me, he kept saying he couldn't believe I was there.. it was really me. We hugged some more. Pulled back and stared at each other, just soaking in this first moment together. And then ....

And then ....

He kissed me.

In that moment, my breath was gone, I was completely lost in his kiss. I felt his arms around me, a feeling I only had dreamed about till this very second. He pulled me in,
held me close and kissed me like there was no tomorrow. I wanted to absorb every millisecond of this moment. The way it felt to be in his arms, the way he smelled, the way our bodies fit together, the way our lips responded to each other, I wanted the world around us to stop for that moment and leave us together, forever changed, forever devoted to this amazing fire that sparked between us, locked in the magic of this first kiss that we had so longingly hungered for.

We were together. Finally together. My sweet Aidan and I. <3

Black Friday isn't Just for Shopping

Thanksgiving was upon us. Aidan had originally planned to go out of town to spend the holiday with his goddaughter and family, and I was eating turkey and fixins' with my family here in Michigan. Aidan ended up having to work Thanksgiving weekend, though, so he stayed in Charlotte. We delighted in frequent video chats, and daydreamed about future Thanksgivings together, still wishing we could finally find a way to meet up sooner than later. We even talked through part of my pumpkin bread baking session, and Aidan asked if I'd send him a loaf through the mail. I loved the idea.

The day after Thanksgiving, Black Friday, my sons had their eye on a steal of a deal at the local Radio Shack for a Galaxy S-4 smart phone. In the frigid below-zero temps, we headed out at 4:30am and waited for the doors to open. I was so tired, I had gone to bed late the night before and here I was up before dawn -- but it was a hoot to see my boys so excited and up so early. After a crazy fiasco involving cell phone contracts and account holder signatures (long story), we finally ended up back home where the kids' dad was waiting to visit with them. I had breakfast plans of my own -- it was GIRLFRIEND TIME. One of my friends was in town visiting for the holiday from Cincinnati and we'd planned to get together and share the dirt -- We stay connected online and she'd been picking up on something through my Facebook and Pinterest posts and was just itching to get the whole story. And I was about to burst  -- I needed some major girlfriend talk time.

Renee and I headed down to one of our favorite hometown coffee shop haunts and I began to fill her in on all the juicy details about Aidan. It was delicious conversation and it felt so good to be able to ramble on about this new love of mine. Do you want to know what kind of a connection Aidan and I have? He must've felt his ears burning because there in the middle of our coffee chat, my phone went off and it was Aidan on Skype! I was able to introduce Renee and Aidan over video chat. It was so funny. We gabbed for a few minutes and hung up, and Renee and I got back to our juicy topic.

Halfway through my ramble, Renee looked at me and said, "Tell me why you haven't gotten in your car and driven straight down to Charlotte????"

The conversation came to a dead stop.

That WAS a good question. Why DIDN'T I just get in the car and drive?

I can't say it hadn't entered my mind --  I thought about it constantly, wanting to be with Aidan there, here, in the middle, on the moon ... Didn't really matter where. I think there was a part of me that was trying to follow the old dating etiquette, if there really is such a thing, boy comes to girl first, etc etc. But Renee hit the nail on the head. What Aidan and I had wasn't 'the norm' and it wasn't just an 'everyday-two-people-meet' thing. We had something very unique and very special and had already pledged our love to each other, as we locked our gaze over Skype. Why didn't I just get in the car?

She wasn't kidding when she said that I was going to go crazy if Aidan and I didn't find a way to meet soon. What if he had to jump on a plane and go home to Ireland? Then what? And what better time than the present?

Renee and I continued to chat about that, and also about her romance with her husband, who is from Holland. They'd met at work several years prior, here in States, and eventually they ended up living in Germany for a while and then back to America. They have three precious little girls now. It was so interesting to talk about the marriage of culture and the influence of other traditions and language and customs on the girls and how they choose to blend her American roots and his Dutch roots. Fascinating. I told her I hope he decides to teach them Dutch, it's a priceless thing, being able to learn two languages growing up.

By the end of our visit, I had already decided to find a way to drive down to see Aidan. But this wasn't going to be a planned thing.... It was time to devise a way to shock a certain sweet Irishman. And the clock was ticking.

I headed back home, got the kids packed up to go with their dad, and kissed them all goodbye. After they drove off, I walked kind of aimlessly around the house, digesting the realization that what we've been longing for day after day was FINALLY going to happen. This time tomorrow, Aidan and I would be TOGETHER. In the same state, in the same town, in the same house, in the same room! My emotions took over and I couldn't help it. I literally jumped around my house, whooping it up.

I called my mom, who is one of my best friends, and said, "Well, the kids are off to their dad's for the weekend...I'm packing."

"Packing ... to....go...where...??" she asked.

"To North Carolina!"

"You're WHAT?" I heard my dad in the background echoing my mom. "She's going WHERE?"

Now, I'll tell you this -- my mom and I are usually on the same wavelength. She "gets" me. If I have a gut feeling about something (or someone) and feel the urge to do something about it, she's not one to really argue it. She was worried more about my car and almost 200K miles, and the fact that I hadn't had very much sleep and was about to drive 12+ hours all alone. My dad, on the other hand, was a bit on the livid side. He is very traditional, and first off, expects all prospects to ask his daughter out on a proper first date. Secondly, he was worried about the safety of his little girl running off to meet "a complete stranger." Mom and I had been gushing about Aidan for three weeks, my dad on the other hand, had only heard bits and pieces. I was a bit frustrated with him at this point, and my mom told me "You know your dad, he'll get over it." We ended up hanging up so I could pack and get ready.

About twenty minutes later, my dad called and apologized. He told me he was still worried, but he wasn't going to be angry at me and yes, he would take care of my dog and to be careful. I was much relieved because I would've been unsettled about leaving if he was upset with me.

I zipped off to the mall and got a mani/pedi and I couldn't even feel my feet on the floor as I walked. Back at home, I  headed to the shower. I swear I was dancing under the water. I could NOT contain my excitement! I felt like I was about to meet my Prince Charming. It was such an overwhelming burst of emotion. As I was getting out, I texted Renee and said, "Thanks for your big vote - I'm going to North Carolina tonight!" She was thrilled for me but couldn't believe I was about to get in the car and drive all that way after being up all day. Adrenaline!!!!! Coffee!!! Love!!!

So the plan was in motion, but how was I going to pull this off? Aidan and I always video chat at night ... I'd be driving in the car .... hmmmm. <<insert evil laugh here>> Time to plan "Operation Meet The Irishman."

All I could think of was that first moment in person ... staring into those gorgeous blue eyes and finally feeling his kiss .... I couldn't wait!

Can You See Me Now?

Texting and messaging with Aidan is beyond enjoyable. I adore the way he flirts, sends little emoticons and sweet messages, and Lord knows, I melt every time he calls me a pet name. From the very beginning of our connection, he has made it vividly clear to me that I was on his mind often...Good morning texts and chatting off and on throughout the day ... While it's one thing to tell a girl you're thinking about her, it's another to show her. I immediately felt special to Aidan, and I hope --  actually I think I can be bold enough to say -- I make him feel the same. I could sense that it was very much heartfelt with him, just as it was for me.

I began to notice myself rereading his text messages and listening to his voicemails over and over. There was something decidedly different about this budding affection that we had -- it was as if we'd been looking, not for someone to be with, but literally for each other. I think, normally, if these kinds of thoughts had popped into my head so early on with someone, I'd be quick to try to talk myself down off the cliff, --because it WAS so new, we hadn't yet met in person, and just for the mere fact that it sounds quite insane to feel something for someone you barely know. But with Aidan ... it was just ... Natural. It felt refreshing to not have to analyze anything, to not wonder if he meant what he said or question whether I'd hear from him again. It felt ... for lack of a better word ... Right. It just felt RIGHT.

The view on a video chat screen

We had exchanged photos of each other periodically, and of course we had all of our photos on Facebook for each other to see ... but the real excitement came when we decided to use FaceTime to video chat. You must understand that we live a good 12 hours away from each other, not convenient for a random dinner date. So what's the next best thing? Video! OH my gosh, being able to see each other in real time and talk is some kind of heaven! While I love our phone conversations and of course all the messaging we do, I LIVE for our video chat time when we can stare at each other, joke, flirt, laugh, (and ooooh do we laugh! He is just such a joy and his sense of humor is delicious!) There is seriously something to be said for the ability to get to know someone via video chat. I can look into his eyes and see his lips as he talks and watch his face expressions ... I love to take it all in. We learn so much about each other this way. It's not only our own conversation, either. Aidan can hear and see me interact with my kids and with our dog ... we can share a cup of coffee ... I can hear him banter with his two housemates (which by the way, how fun to listen to two Irishman and an Englishman chat it up!) and see how he interacts with them. We show each other the view out our window and discuss the weather of Michigan and North Carolina. We talk about everything ... his work, my school, the kids ... our dreams, our families, our childhoods ... I met his housemates, he met my parents and children, all in video chat. The thing about getting to know someone this way is that the physical aspect does not get in the way. Not that physical chemistry isn't important - I don't mean that at all -- but so often, early in relationships, couples spend more time locked in kisses and physically intertwined than really spending time in deep conversation -- the kind that leads to building a strong foundation, a companionship, to build on. (But I assure you, what I wouldn't give to be locked into a few kisses ... )

It really wasn't long before we both knew that we were feeling something pretty strong for each other. We were also dying to meet. He talked of coming up here to Michigan, which excited me to no end. But we both had obligations with work and such that it was easier said than done. Another looming cloud was news he'd received from back home in Ireland, that his mammy was sick and in hospital. His siblings, all three still back home, warned him that depending on her condition, he may have to jump on a plane and go back home to be near her. It was a day-by-day thing.

At this point, it had been going on about three weeks and we were nearing Thanksgiving. Half of our messages and video chats were focused on our deep desire to be together in one room for once. I could no longer stifle the fact that, regardless of the fact that we had not met in person, I was falling in love with him. I remember the night I revealed that. I don't remember the last time I had been shaking so badly! Though I knew he had feelings for me, I wasn't 100% sure how he'd take hearing those three little words. Well, let's just say the sentiment was mutual.

So how much longer could we stand being apart? We seemed to be in each other's every thought, we shared everything about our days and our dreams at night, we knew each other's daily schedules and the comings and goings of our weeks. We were as much together as two people can be without being physically together.

We just needed to find a way to be together.....

In the Beginning, There Was Twine ...

Twine, a dating app for smartphones

It all started with an iPhone App called Twine. After having used several other online dating sites over 2.5 years, (and that's a whole other story, well, book, which is not finished yet..) I decided to try out a dating app. Twine uses your Facebook profile, but your photo is blurred out. When you click "New Twine," the app searches far and wide for your Prince Charming. Up pops a blurred photo, an age, a city, and a country. Not a state. It's a good test of your geography skills, and it's a gamble because, for example, there are seven towns across the U.S. called Lexington -- not counting any under the population of 5000. Soooo, you might not immediately know which state the prince (or frog) is Twining from. (You also have the option in settings to choose local, country, or international, depending on how far away you'll go to find a match.) If you decide to "accept the twine," you are then zapped into a text message window, where you begin to chat. After you or the other person is comfortable enough or overwhelmingly curious, one of you can click "Reveal" and the other person must accept to reveal their photo. If they do accept, both photos become clear to see. The hope is that their Facebook profile actually is a photo of themselves and not their dog or car or cartoon. Some have no photo at all.

The part about Twine that I found the most interesting is that you're really starting from nothing more than a location. It's basically the virtual version of walking up to someone on the street that you don't know from Adam and beginning a conversation (only if you do that, you at least can see the bloke.) While some people find this part of Twine to be the most ridiculous, I disagree -- because in this type of situation, you soon discover if your Twine can carry on a conversation or if he sounds like a complete caveman (yeah, no, uh huh...random grunts here and there.) And let me tell you, there are a LOT of cavemen out there.

After a few weeks of random chats on Twine that went no where fast, a new match popped up in "Charlotte, United States." I assumed that was Charlotte in NC (and prayed it wasn't a village in Oregon or something on the other side of the country) and I happen to have family near there (even though I'm a Michigan girl) so I decided, why not?! I sent the generic 'hello' and 'how are ya' (I would give anything to be able to go back and reread our first couple of days of texts but unfortunately the app updated and somehow it deleted old messages.) He answered back, and said he was bartending in an Irish Pub. I answered back, "Are you from there originally?" meaning -- from Charlotte. He answered back that indeed he was -- from IRELAND. Quite honestly, I was very surprised and wondered if he was pulling my leg. (My leg has been pulled so many times through my online dating experiences that I'm stunned it hasn't fallen off yet.) But, come to find out, he really WAS from Ireland, had been in the States 14 years. Needlesstosay I was intrigued. He was chatty, flirty, and delightful. It wasn't long before we revealed photos, and I will say this: Those blue eyes of his sucked me in like quicksand.

Over the next couple of days, we texted through Twine continuously. He asked if I was on "Face the book," which I am, so we became "friends." I had a ball sifting through his photos and posts. Our private messaging went on nonstop and I absolutely LOVED every second of it. On the third or fourth day, I happened to be walking into my parents' house and I was chatting with my mom about him when all of a sudden, my phone rang and his name popped up on my iPhone screen. I was stunned, we hadn't exchanged phone numbers yet...how the?? He was calling me through Facebook! I didn't even know that you could do that! I was SO excited -- and couldn't wait to hear his voice. I answered and there was this warm, friendly, Irish voice on the other end! It was heaven. I don't even remember what we spoke about in that first phone call, but I do remember how distinctly relaxed I felt talking with him, and it felt like we'd known each other for a much longer time than only a few days.

Not long after that, we started video chatting, as well. I still laugh about that -- we are connected on so many virtual levels. Twine, Facebook, Messenger, Skype, FaceTime, text, phone, Viber, Voxer ... It's a hoot because I never know which thing I'm going to hear from him on next! :-) But I can assure you, every time my phone makes a sound, I get butterflies to this day when I realize this gorgeous Irishman is calling me <3