Put The Kettle On

Not long ago, I asked Aidan what he thought might be a noticeable difference in daily life at his parents' house compared to here in the States. He thought for a second, and then told me that the door is always open -- you never knock, you just walk in.

"No one knocks? Everyone just walks in?" I questioned.

"It's like family. The door's always open, the kettle is always on for tea. Just like it should be!" He happily confirmed.

That's something I'm not used to. Not only am I not used to people walking in, I'm not even really used to people dropping by without calling first. It's just the way things are here for the most part. Other than kids dropping by looking for their friends, or Jehovah's Witnesses going door-to-door, no one really drops in.

My mom especially is uncomfortable with drop-in company because she likes to be prepared: The house should be tidied up, the dishes done, something like a cake or cookies to serve, and herself looking presentable. When I told her about this Irish way of the open door, she was surprised! She really thought about the ins and outs of everyone walking in. "What if you're not dressed? What if you're sick? What if you're in the bathroom?" she wondered.

When I asked Aidan about some of those instances, he just laughed and said, "Well they walk in anyway. Makes it more exciting around here!" I love his positive thinking and joyful soul! So funny.

Today I kind of woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I haven't been sleeping well lately and it's catching up with me. I decided after taking the kids to school that I would actually just go back to bed for a couple hours, which I NEVER do. Felt good to sleep for a bit. Once I got up, I had to run out and pick up my son early from school and back home again, barely awake. I was sitting talking to my son when I noticed out the window, a family friend walking across my porch. I immediately felt panic -- because I knew I was a mess and the table wasn't cleaned off of Jillian's drawings and toys. And, I was about out of coffee. My son snuck out the backdoor and off to his friend's house.  I went to the front to let my friend in, who I immediately began to apologize to for looking so awful and 'please excuse my house, it's messy today,' etc. She had her coffee in her hand and waved all that off, telling me she wasn't there to see my house and who cares what I look like! (Very sweet.) We sat and chatted for a little while and she then left.

Sometime while we were chatting, it occurred to me that I had better rethink the drop-in/walk-in company thing. Did my friend love me any less because I looked like I'd just rolled out of bed? No of course not. She never batted an eye at the toys on the table, either. And while I'm one who ALWAYS says that friends aren't there to see your house, just to see you, I did noticeably feel apprehensive when I discovered I was about to have unplanned company. I would have never thought about this issue had Aidan and I not only recently discussed it as a difference in culture! Fascinating.

I love the idea of a marriage of cultures. I have always been intrigued at couples who come from different backgrounds, different languages, different countries, and how their love and journey together creates something beautiful and unique. My grandparents are an example of that. He was from Germany and she was from Romania, both with broken English and a host of traditions they brought with them and virtually gifted to each other when they married. I was very young when they were alive and don't remember much, other than their heavy accents and the cooking, but I have heard different stories from my dad about when he was growing up. I think it's just wonderful that he is a essentially a product of both German and Romanian roots (which he happily labels as "Geranium.")

Of course when Aidan and I share a home, our door, too, will always be open, and  the kettle will always be on. I look forward to learning to embrace this idea. Of course, the kettle is another new thing for me. I'm not (yet) a tea drinker, other than the occasional late-night chamomile before sleep or a ginger tea for an upset stomach. The Irish are the tea-drinkers. Aidan's daily tea consumption is always a daily perk in our conversations. He told me they drink Barry's Tea. I've decided I need to find some and try it.

Aidan knows me and my love affair with coffee very well. But I am not a coffee snob, in that I will certainly drink tea (though sweet -- need it sweet!) I did find Barry's at Amazon, so I might order some soon. I'm wondering if I could entice Jillian into trying it. She likes sweet coffee and cappuccino now, maybe the tea will grow on her. She's started coffee before me --  I didn't start
drinking coffee until I was 16.

Regardless, -- coffee, tea, soda, water, sludge -- none
of it is half as enjoyable as when I get to share it with Aidan. I can't wait for that day!!

Gonna Need a Bigger Suitcase

Aidan gave me the more wonderful news the other day over Skype: We've been invited to a wedding -- RIGHT after my arrival! As in, the next day?! I am SO excited. I've always heard about Irish weddings and I can't wait to go. Even more exciting is that I get to be on the arm of my true love. Aidan asked, "So, you will have an outfit to wear then?"

This is me you're talking to, Darlin'. The one overplanning/overpacking/trying not to take 11 pair of shoes but at least two pair of boots and counting. 

"Yes of course, Love! I plan to come prepared -- seven weeks is no short visit. I figure, sun, rain, warm, cold, weddings, funerals, dates, sheep, cleaning/working, sleeping .. I will have it covered!" I happily chattered back.

But over the next day or two, it began to dawn on me: DO I have an outfit appropriate for an Irish wedding?? Hmmmm.

I have a handful of nice dresses, sure. But -- how can I be sure what I have is good enough? I want to look nice for Aidan and I surely don't want to stick out like a sore thumb.

I decided to hit the internet yet again; after all the world IS at our fingertips these days. Since I'd seen that wonderful singing priest a few weeks back on YouTube, surely there'd be other weddings in Ireland posted, right?

Can you imagine -- the very first thing I end up finding when I searched for Irish weddings on YouTube is from RTE - Republic of Telly (comedy) entitled, "Every Irish Wedding Ever." Oh I was in hysterics. THIS is my first researched taste of Irish weddings.

I did manage to find other wedding clips in my search, as well, and I'm finding one distinct difference in wedding guests between here in the U.S. and there in Ireland. HATS.

Glorious hats. Huge hats. Fancy hats. Odd hats. Old fashioned hats. Modern hats. HATS.

Now, I love hats. I have had several over the years, more when my hair was long than recently. I don't think I could pull off a hat though, now. Mostly because of what comes from wearing a hat -- HAT HAIR. That would be disastrous. So I'm on the fence at best on the hat issue -- not to mention, how I'd get a hat to Ireland in one, uncrushed piece would be an adventure in itself -- I can see it now. My wellies are too heavy to pack in the suitcase, so I'd have to wear them on the plane. And so as not to crush my gigantic fancy-enough-for-a-wedding glorious hat, I couldn't pack it either, I'd have to wear it, on the plane. Wellies and a fancy hat!! Can you imagine? Aidan would be high-tailing it over the Mournes faster than you can say "The plane landed and your girlfriend is here!"

The other thing that seems to be getting my attention is the fact that so many of the women wear very elegant dresses. I don't own anything so fancy anymore. I will definitely have to go dress shopping for this affair, something that will be exciting and a bit of an adventure. But you know what else just hit me? If I get a new dress, I will need matching shoes.

Another pair of shoes!? 

I can hear Aidan rolling in laughter now!!

Soooo I may not have this whole wedding attire thing as sorted out as I originally thought, but I am just dancing up a storm in anticipation!! How fun. And, weddings are romantic. I just can't wait to do something like this with Aidan -- it's definitely something we've not yet done together. Yay us! (Oh, I know, I know. I'm excited about EVERY little thing we get to do together. I just can't help it! When you spend so much time apart and salivating over togetherness, watching commercials between TV shows together even begins to sound fun and romantic.)

I'm so glad April is almost over -- May will be busy with the last full month of school and shopping for the trip and prepping the boys to look after the house and the pets while I'm gone, so I know it will begin to go by a little faster. As of now we still have 53 days left until our flight. UGH I just can't wait!!! I miss Aidan so much.  So thankful that we found each other. What a journey we are sharing together!!! <3

Pack Your Boots!

Only 58 more days.

I haven't enjoyed X-ing off days on the calendar since I was a little girl waiting for Christmas. There is something reenergizing and joyful about having such a wonderful reunion to look forward to.  Furthermore, I am not one who enjoys packing and trying to plan ahead for what to take on a trip, but this is the exception!

Some weeks ago I wrote about my first trip to Europe and the 11 pair of shoes I took. I swore I wouldn't do the same thing on this trip.

And then Aidan said yesterday, "You're talking about packing - you better bring your boots. The weather isn't looking so good for summer, it might get cold at night."

"Like, wellies?" I was already planning on bringing my wellies.

"No -- your regular boots, you might need them," he answered, quite seriously.

OK, sweet love of mine. One pair of boots is heavy. Now two pair of boots are on the list. And I have to have good walking/hiking shoes. And pretty shoes or sandals to wear with my skirts/dresses. Dang it's painful to try to be beautiful (hehe)!! And clothes. And a jacket. My poor love has no idea what he's in for. Because when I start thinking 'boots' -- I then start thinking about things to wear with boots and that's a whole different line of clothing.

Meg Ryan in French Kiss

The irony here is that I am not a fashionista by any means. Yes of course I try to look nice, but I'm not one that's all about the clothes. And, I remember long ago I watched the movie, French Kiss, with Meg Ryan. She ends up in Europe with only her backpack because her luggage was stolen. For the duration of her time there, she managed to get by with just the clothes on her back and she swapped out the layers to make several different outfits. I thought, "AHA! There IS a way to take next to nothing, and get by just fine!" (Never mind the fact that it was Hollywood and drop dead gorgeous Meg Ryan...nah. That doesn't have anything to do with it.) AND ... I just had a conversation with my mom, who is WAY WAY worse than I ever thought of being when it comes to packing (sorry Mom) -- she was having a heck of a time trying to downsize her ever-growing pile of clothes for a few week trip to visit family in the Carolinas and I told her, "Mom -- seriously. What will happen if you don't have  a ton of choices in clothes?? Will you die? Will you have to stay inside and not go out to sightsee? Will someone take away your birthday? If you find you're seriously too short on clothes, there's a reason to go shopping!"

Yet, here I sit, 58 whole days before MY trip and I'm already talking about it!

Ugh.

I read. A LOT. Research a LOT. I've read several pieces on traveling in Ireland and the suggestions of what to take. I also read a piece on 'how to not look American' which really made me laugh. When it comes down to it though, I just want to look nice for Aidan. (Read: Not like a frumpy-living-out-of-a-bag girl.)

It would just be easier if I wore a burka.

But a burka doesn't work well with wellies, nor for chasing sheep. Nor for looking ....ahem, ... attractive to my sweetheart. Skip the burka.

I won't lie -- I LOVE this look!

Speaking of wellies, how and when did they become such a fashion statement? I think it's hysterical. While I've only seen a few pair around my area in the last several months, I see that in other cities around the world, they certainly have become popular! I have to say, I love the idea. But then again, I've always been drawn to the unique, earthy, borderline boho kind of thing.

Oh well. I'll figure it out. I hope. The most important thing is that I get to be with Aidan again. I'll just borrow his clothes if I have to. There's something sexy and cozy about wearing your man's big ole shirt anyway. :-)

Besides. His big ole' shirt would go GREAT with my green wellies....

Counting Down to Co Down

It feels so good to finally be able to say, "In less than two months, Aidan and I will be together in Ireland." It's mind boggling to think we haven't been together since the end of November. We have done so well at staying connected on a daily basis that it doesn't seem like it's been so long. On the other hand, it feels like we've been apart for a year. I just can't wait to get there.

I've now come to realize that from this point on, time will pass rather quickly. I have been shopping here and there, finding a few new outfits to take. I was perusing luggage in the store today, because Jillian doesn't have a suitcase. I must have looked so funny, walking slowly by the displays of suitcases, running my hand over this one or that one, with a ridiculous smile on my face. I was walking in the store -- but in my mind, I was 3000 miles away, walking off a plane in Dublin, with my eyes searching the crowd for my love. Then I began to worry about the fact that I'm not the lightest packer, especially going somewhere for as long as seven weeks. I'm afraid Aidan's sister will have to find a bigger car to fit us and all of our stuff!! Yikes! (hehehe)

Yesterday, my mom called from the car -- they are traveling in the South visiting my sister. The night before, my parents had watched an old episode of Murder, She Wrote, which happened to take place in Ireland. She had a concerned sound in her voice as she said, "I saw how beautiful it is there... I'm afraid you're not going to want to come back home once you've spent time there with Aidan!" I chuckled at that. It's not the first time I've heard that. Aidan's friends have told him the same thing about me coming there. But it's not that easy. I assured my mother that of course I'll return to the States. After all, my boys are staying here, my house is here, it's just not as easy as jumping on a plane and deciding to stay.  I didn't disagree with her; I told her I know I'm going to love it already. She told me, "You guys can go back and visit!" Of course we will go back. I can't even say that I wouldn't want to live there someday. What a wonderful experience that would be, and how precious to have that time with Aidan's family. Someday, someday. Who knows?!

Jillian was looking up videos about fairies again on YouTube this morning. She's on the fence about wanting to find any because she has heard stories about the tricks they play. It cracks me up. When I first mentioned fairies to her, she was very matter-of-fact about them not existing. Rolling her eyes, with the classic "Oh Moth-er!" look. Then, she was curious enough to read a little about fairy forts, "just to be nice" to me because it was my suggestion. And now, she runs off and searches on her own. At a doctor's appointment yesterday, she mentioned to the nurse about us spending the summer in Ireland, and right away the nurse excitedly talked about her own time in Ireland, back when she was in college. Her roommate was from there and they flew back to Dublin and stayed with the girl's parents in an apartment over the Guinness factory in Dublin. The nurse went on and on about the beauty of the country, the friendliness of the people, and the tasty food. I watched Jillian listening to her.... I could see the excitement  welling up in my daughter. It's becoming more real to her bit by bit.

Aidan and I are not the only dreamers about our future together: We both have found that some of our friends already have very good feelings about us, which is so sweet to hear. My friend Jill commented on a video I'd shared of three older ladies dancing their tushes off, "We're going to dance like that at your 25th wedding anniversary!!" It makes me so happy to hear that others are so happy that we found each other. I know I sure am!

And bless Aidan's heart, he's so good to me in regard to my love for the sheep! He has sent me two videos of the little lambs and oh my goodness, are they ever cute!! I can't wait to love on them!! I just wish I was there now so I could help bottle feed the couple that need it. By the time I get there, those little lambs will be much bigger already!

Aidan has been enjoying the little quizzes on Facebook: What color are you? What country should you have been born in? What flower are you? and so on. They are a series of questions (no idea how much of the questions pertain to the final analysis but it's fun regardless) and after completing them, it  scores you. One test told
Aidan he should have been born in the US. That test told me I should've been born in France! Another was a test all about the State slogans -- you had to look at a license plate with the slogan on it and guess the state. Aidan got them all right! Not me -- I had several wrong. On a test about America, my butt was kicked by an Irishman. But don't laugh too hard -- we both took the quiz entitled, "Are you Irish enough for St Patrick's Day?" All about Irish history/food/customs. Guess what? Aidan got 11/15. Me? PERFECT SCORE! I guess all my recent research paid off! I just love the team we have become. How fun!

I can't wait to spend normal days with Aidan. We play off each other so well, and just being able to share mornings, meals, coffee, chores, TV, the couch ... Sounds silly, but I just can't wait to have that time with him. He brings so much joy to my life and no matter what is going on, he makes me smile and cracks me up. Today was a perfect example. Life's stresses just really got to me today and I kind of lost it; I became teary and just bummed out, overwhelmed, overtired. As soon as I saw Aidan on Skype, he had me smiling again. I am so, so thankful for the gift of being able to spend my life with him. I'm just so excited for our time together to start!

Connections

The other morning, I was snuggling in bed with my nine year old little girl. She looked up at me and said, "You really love Aidan, don't you Mom."

"Yes, Jillian. I do love Aidan. Very much," I replied.

"You wanna marry Aidan, don't you, Mom."

I paused, not because I didn't have an answer for her - but just to think about the way my daughter thinks about things. So often her perceptions are very black-and-white. She stared right back at me, waiting for my answer.

"Yes, honey, I do want to marry Aidan. Very much."

Then came the million dollar question (especially coming from a nine year old:) "How do you know he's the ONE?"

I couldn't help smiling when I heard that. I think some people live their entire lives not knowing how to answer that question.

How do I know that Aidan is THE ONE? There were a million reasons that came to mind, but I decided to sift through and condense them to fit into the attention span of a little girl.

"Well, we love each other very much. We can talk about anything and everything, we pray for each other and he already loves you and your brothers because you belong to me. And when we met, we both felt like we'd found the person we'd been searching for for a very, very long time. It was kind of like ... A fairytale."

I could see her digesting what I had said. She thought about it for a while and then asked, "Well, what if you get married and then find out you don't like each other anymore?"

My children are in a position that I've never been in. They witnessed their parents' divorce and watched their mom and dad move on to different journeys. Part of me felt sad for my daughter in this conversation, that she has had that experience in her young life. But another part of me knew that this was a life lesson for her. I have always prayed that I would be a good role model for my children, and while I'm far from perfect, I hope they will look back on their mom and see someone who overcame tremendous pain and disappointment, who stayed strong, stayed faithful, and who still believed in love and finding happily-ever-after. None of us can get through this life without experiencing pain and loss and sadness, but how we choose to recover and learn from those things is paramount. I know why my little girl asked that last question -- she saw what happened to her parents (from a child's perspective.) It was important that I gave her a solid answer.

"Jillian, no relationship is perfect, and no two people ever get along and agree 100% of the time. But there some VERY important things that make all the difference, and I believe Aidan and I understand those things. First, we both know that God comes first -- in our own lives, and in our relationship. Second, we choose to love each other no matter what happens, good, bad or ugly. And third, we talk about everything, we don't hold things in or hide from each other. Those things are VERY important for love to be lasting. Not all relationships have those things. But the ones that are made for forever, do," I answered.

Once again, my daughter took it all in, thinking about it. Then, she looked up at me and smiled and said, "Will you make waffles?" and that, is life with a nine year old.

Aidan and I began to dream about sharing our lives together very early on in our relationship. I know many people would see that and think we're a little crazy and premature, but I think -- no, I KNOW -- that when you know, you just know. And why NOT dream and look forward to tomorrow? Life is very short, and there is so much unrest and unhappiness in this world we live in. Finding this kind of love is truly a miracle. Finding your soulmate is a gift. I am so thankful for what we have and that we found each other.

Quite some time ago, since Aidan has been back in Ireland, he confided in me that he had been looking at rings. Yes I almost fell off the chair -- but out of excitement, not fear or shock. I'm not going to hide the fact that I had already been daydreaming about the idea. And true to form, when I am thinking about something, Aidan verbalizes it. We just have that kind of connection. (As I wrote months ago -- nine times out of ten, if I'm talking about Aidan or sitting and just thinking about him or us, the phone rings or I get a message from him.) Anyway, he asked me what kind of ring I prefer. I don't think he expected my answer. "Claddagh."

"Really? Not a traditional diamond??" he questioned.

"I'm in love with an Irishman. Of course I would love to have a traditional Irish ring," I shyly admitted.

The Claddagh is the ring which has two hands holding a crowned heart. It symbolizes friendship, love, and loyalty. One legend reveals that it dates back to the 17th century, to an Irishman by the name of Richard Joyce, who lived on the Galway coast in a tiny fishing town named Claddagh. On a ship bound for the West Indies, Joyce and his fellow shipmates were captured and taken to Algeria, where he was sold to a Moorish master. The master was a goldsmith who taught Joyce the trade. Eventually, Joyce was released and returned to Ireland, where he placed a special ring on the hand of his sweetheart, after which he crafted rings and began to sell them. Other legends date the Claddagh ring back to Celtic times. Still others believe it represents the Holy Trinity of the Christian faith. Regardless of its true origin, the Claddagh is uniquely Irish. The ring is worn four different ways, to signify a girl being single, or having a boyfriend -- the ring is placed on the right hand, the heart pointing out or in, respectively; As an engagement the ring is worn on the left ring finger, with the heart pointing out. Once married, the ring is turned, with the heart facing in.

I am so blessed to be in love with and loved by Aidan. I am thankful for the way he loves me,  and the way he so openly communicates that. I love that we are not confined by societal norms or restrictions of culture or heritage -- we just ARE. I love the way we are together. Our laughter, our little jokes, our commitment and dedication to each other, I am so overwhelmingly thankful for it all.

Speaking of culture and heritage, I am happily embracing Aidan's Irish blood. I love the idea of intertwining our roots and creating a life together. I have even begun learning about Irish wedding traditions (Yikes, Aidan will soon read this, I haven't told him that yet hehehe!) Just this past week, a priest from Co Meath, Fr Ray Kelly, became world famous after he sang song at a wedding he was officiating and the video landed on YouTube. It gave me goosebumps. His voice is so beautiful. I asked Aidan if we could perhaps attend a mass when I'm there, to hear Fr Ray sing. Aidan said, "Wouldn't it be class if we had him sing at our wedding?"

If that didn't open the floodgates of daydreams, I don't know what did!! I have watched that famous video at least 30 times, and all the while, imagined what it would be like to be the couple in that parish. (Long before this video hit the news,  my father and my brother both admitted separately that they are convinced that while I'm away in Ireland, Aidan and I will marry. I've told them both they're crazy. I'm just ...daydreaming. I think. Yes, I'm daydreaming....I.. think. ;-).)

All I know is that I cannot wait to be with Aidan in Ireland, after being apart so long. We are down to 9.5 weeks -- I'm crossing off days on the calendar. It can't come fast enough!!

It's For Real

This past winter, being so long and blustery here in Michigan, made the distance and the time apart from Aidan seem even greater. Even after I bought and printed airline tickets for Jillian and I to fly to Ireland in June, it has been so hard to believe it's for real. Some days are harder than others for me, I don't know why that happens ... but on those days I find myself lost in daydreams even more ... staring at Aidan's photos and rereading our messages. And holding the airline tickets in my hand, just to let it sink in that YES we are going to be together again soon. But looking out the window at snow blowing and at the calendar that very clearly shows we're still stuck in Winter, well my mind has a hard time realizing that time shall pass and June will arrive. I think we would've cracked had we not had video chat all these months!! Everyday I wake up, itching to see Aidan again over video. It doesn't help to
say this a million times but it's just plain true -- I miss him like crazy.

Today was finally warm. Well, warm for Michigan in April -- 61 degrees. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, the breeze was refreshing. It finally felt like Spring. It was glorious to be outside, it felt like waking up after a long hibernation. And all day long, I carried the happy realization that, indeed -- June was right around the corner, and time was finally beginning to pass. This week is Spring Break for the kids, and although we aren't going anywhere this year, it is a turning point in the school year. After Spring Break, the rest of the school year always seems to fly by. It's only a few days after school is out that Jillian and I will begin our journey to be with Aidan.

With this burst of Spring, I have begun to have a running to-do list in my mind of all the things I need to get done and out of the way before we leave the country. Doctor's appointments, Spring cleaning, my college work, shopping, planning. If I keep my schedule full enough, the time should move a little faster. Now I can almost taste it.

Jillian seemingly has gotten past her bout of apprehension. She often talks about things we'll do together in Ireland. She has begun to ask about Aidan's sister, because she's heard me mention her on several occasions. She heard about their Aunt Ann's cats, and Jillian can't wait to see them. We decided we should get out and get walking now that the weather has warmed up, and get some exercise in preparation for the walking we'll be doing over there. Jillian just cracks me up. She even told me I will need to learn how to drive all over again because she saw a video on YouTube about driving on the "wrong side of the road" in Ireland. She happily finds a marker to 'x' off another completed day on the calendar, so we can see just how much closer we're getting to June.

Aidan and I both spend time thinking about being together in just the normal day to day activities... cooking or cleaning in the kitchen and being able to bump into each other ... stealing a kiss here or there ... Crashing on the couch in front of a movie ... Waking up and being able to just share the morning together instead of only over the phone. I think all this distance we've had to endure has probably made us more thankful for all of the little things most couples take for granted. It feels so good to hear him talking about coming home with me in August. I picture him here in my house all the time ... And I can't wait to experience it outside of my daydreams.

We dream of someday finding a cabin in the mountains somewhere in North Carolina near the Eastern side of Tennessee. It's funny -- it is a dream, yes. But with Aidan, these dreams feel like our future -- not just a pie-in-the-sky kind of thing. There are always hurdles and hoops on any journey, but with Aidan, I just know that we'll manage whatever comes our way and we will figure it out together. There is such comfort in knowing it's right. It's just ... RIGHT.  All that matters is that we are together in this journey, wherever it should take us. And after all this time apart, I'm ready for it to begin ... this very moment. I just can't wait to be back in Aidan's arms, no matter what soil it's on. Ireland, America, the moon ... <3