Six weeks ago, when I began meeting people here in Ireland, I was often asked, "When did you get home?" or "How long have you been home?" and at the time I found it a little odd because this isn't home to me, I had never been here before, and "home" is in the States. I don't know for sure why that question was asked that way, perhaps it has something to do with the 1000s of Irish that have left this country to go to America or Australia and have periodically returned, that it became natural to ask "When did you get back home?" Surely it didn't apply to me, an American girl visiting Ireland for the first time. But now, finding myself on the other side of six weeks, it makes perfect sense, somehow. This does feel like home. And I want this to be a home for me, ... for us.
No, I'm not moving here (at the moment, anyway.) But Aidan's family and friends have welcomed my daughter and I completely, just as one of their own, from the moment we arrived. If anyone had any reservation in doing so, it was by far not noticeable. I love spending time with all of them. I have had such fun getting to know so many people around here, and I am grateful for the relationships and friendships I now have with them. To the point that I can't fathom going home next week and being without them.
Above everything, my heart is aching because Aidan is not able to fly home with us next week. The flights over the summer months are very expensive, and coupled with the fact that his job ended right after I arrived here, there just isn't a way to afford a ticket just yet. He promises he'll be working and saving and coming to Michigan very soon, and as much as I believe that, I still hurt inside. We survived seven months separated by 3000 miles, and before that, we were separated by 12+ hours in two different states. Now, we have spent nearly every waking second together for over six weeks, sharing everything from morning coffee, to prayer together, to TV time, to spending time with his family, to grocery shopping --- Life. We have lived daily life together here in Ireland. I don't want to think about waking up next Thursday morning at home and being without him. Let alone day after day. I wish we'd won the lottery some Thursday here in Leitrim, where it's up to over 12,000 pounds. Then we could go home to Michigan together next week.
But on top of that, as if it weren't enough, I have become so close to his family that they feel like my family. We have had such a ball. I've been out shopping with just the girls, causing trouble in Ikea together and just having "girl talk" times. I've picked on Aidan's brother for his vanity and called him a ham, a term his wife just happily adopted for her funny husband. When the twins pop over for a visit, I'm just dying to see them again, those two funny little red heads have stolen my heart. Sheenagh, who is married to Aidan's youngest brother, has a large happy family who has also just included me from the beginning, and her sisters' daughters have befriended Jillian, too. I recently told my mom back home that when I think of what I'll miss the most -- considering the beautiful landscape, the quaint, narrow roads that go up and down and curve all over the place, the crashing waves of the Irish Sea, the Mourne Mountains in the distant horizon, the sheep in every other field, the gorgeous accent all around me with the singsongy lilt, after considering all of that -- I have to honestly say over all of it, I'll miss this wonderful lot of family and friends the most. I think a big piece of my heart will be left here in this Emerald Isle, and I will long for all of the beauty, but I will be lonely for these sweet people I can now call my own.
Over the years I've heard it said that "home is where your heart is," and also that "home is where you hang your hat." I think it's a combination of the two. My home is in Michigan with my kids and my dog and my family and my house and my lake. But home is here where the green hills and stone fences make me cry and the wind off the Irish Sea whispers my name and the sheep let me love them and laugh at them.
My time with Aidan has been precious. We were in love long before I arrived here -- for sure. But living together, we've seen more of each other than any couple does living apart or visiting for random weekends. Aidan dances with me in the living room to old country tunes on his iPod. I watch him as goosebumps pop up all over his arms when he hears steel guitar. I am touched at his chuckle every time we hear Jillian giggling at her computer while she wears headphones in the next room, and Aidan says, "I love that girl." Aidan doesn't care about my morning hair or my morning breath or my dumpy days when I'm overtired from sightseeing and running roads -- he makes me feel like a beautiful princess no matter what. When I least expect it, he comes off with some Irish phrase or joke and I can't help but to break out in laughter. He always has me laughing.
And then there's Dublin.
We have traveled all over the North -- and seen all six counties here, as well as three in the Republic. I can't imagine how many hundreds of miles we've covered in the last six weeks. We've had our feet in the Atlantic, sat up over the ocean on the craggy cliffs, walked the Carrick-a-Rede rope bridge with the waves crashing against the rock far below. We've toured two very old gaols (jails) -- one in Belfast and one in Dublin. Speaking of Belfast -- seeing the huge murals and the peace wall in person was sobering. We've just done so much. But one of the last trips we've taken was by train to Dublin.
Dublin is a city that has always drawn me in. It symbolizes music and culture and laughter and history. It's a place I've always hoped to visit. Now, I've visited many major world cities, Frankfurt, Munich, Hambourg, Lucern, Vienna, Toronto, NYC, Chicago - and many, many more. I knew I'd probably love Dublin, but I had no idea I'd really love Dublin.
I was again immediately home in that city, ironically. It's a huge town but feels quaint. There are scores of immigrants and college students and visitors there, and loads of history. The architecture is stunning. The river running through the city with several bridges is a calm in the middle of the bustle. What a fabulous town. We spent the day on a double decker tour bus, hopping off and on when we came to a place to tour or see. But by the time we had to head back to the train station, I was NOT ready to leave. Dublin and its nightlife and live music was something I was dying to see and experience before I have to head back home to the States. Of course we couldn't stay -- we had to get back. But Aidan and I both are in Dublin withdrawal, and for my last weekend here in Ireland, he and I are heading back alone and spending Saturday and Sunday in Dublin. Jillian is going to stay with the twins. I'm so looking forward to wandering the streets of Dublin, taking it all in, and unwinding on Saturday night by finding music sessions in some of the dozens of pubs, and maybe even some dancing. What a city. Aidan and I both said we'd happily live in Dublin. How and when and doing what, we have no idea, but that is something that I will keep as a possibility in my mind and in my heart. It's only about an hour from here, where Aidan's family is and where the rolling hills of County Down wait for us. How perfect would that be? Oh and the music!! I just can't wait to get back to Dublin.
So yes, my time here in Ireland has been heavenly. Jillian has enjoyed every little ounce of it too, in fact she just lost a tooth yesterday and the Irish Tooth Fairy gave her a whopping 10 pound note! Good Grief. That's crazy money for a tooth but Jillian is bouncing off the walls and can't wait to spend it.
Oh my heart aches. I'm not ready for this to end yet -- actually, it will never end. Ireland will always be here waiting for our return, and I will look forward to being asked, "When did you arrive back home?" the next time I get here. Sweet Ireland, I love you.
Ireland, I'm Coming Home by Garth Brooks
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